August 16, 2019 (1:00 AM)
Sometimes, I wonder how it would actually feel to die.
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They say when you're dying, you'll recall all the good things that happened in your life. You'll regret the things you didn't do because now, you'll never have chance to do so.
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The choices you made and opportunities you didn't take. The places you didn't get to visit. The people that you took for granted.
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And if heaven and hell do really exist, would heaven welcome me? Or I'll go straight to hell?
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I wonder, where will I go? I don't know. I'm confused and...
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Afraid to die.
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I'm afraid I am not good enough to be accepted in heaven. I don't want to suffer in hell. Hell no. I already know the truth, but I still choose to do the wrong things.
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I still lie. I even gossip more than I pray every day. I go to church yet I still curse. I pray to God just when I need him. But when I am blessed with things?
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I forget him.
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Now, I'm just laying on my bed. Wondering. How would it feel to die not having God in my life?
