Grotesque Grace: A Beetlejuice AU

Chapter 1

Heaven is basically what you would imagine. A mansion crafted of pure white clouds, infested with angels dressed like they're about to go to a wedding. It's a couple of stories high, all of them filled with rooms to train whatever 'lucky' human has been accepted into this part of the afterlife and turn them into more warriors. Down below is a dark, chamber-like place that all but God herself is forbidden to go into. And in the heart of the floating world, situated comfortably above her sons and daughters, is Juno.

"Mother?" Beetlejuice asks in a meek voice. He stood beside the towering throne built from rays of the sun, bent and folded like a rainbow-threaded, handwoven chair. Juno slowly rolled her eyes over to her eldest son from beneath her glasses. Sweat beaded across his forehead when he made eye contact with his mother, his clammy hands interlocking as he cracked his knuckles anxiously. "Er... I-I'm sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to see if you had, uh, considered making me a g-guardian angel at all?"

Juno stared intently down at him, letting out a sigh and looking straight ahead again, snapping her fingers and pointing at the widely vacant space to her left.

Slightly startled by the invitation, Beetlejuice hesitated for a second, but quickly regained his composure and allowed his vulture-like wings to spread. Kicking off the ground, he flapped his way up onto the throne and landed on the over-sized arm of the chair, squatting down and timidly staring at his mother from a few feet away. She tapped her fingers rhythmically on the empty space to her right, and across from the two of them, displayed on the soft, white cloud wall, blurred images began to rapidly fly past as she searched through the various locations.

It took a minute before the projection landed on a singular location, a meek gutter situated under a bridge that was littered with puffy graffiti and empty beer bottles. In the midst of it, squatting in the shade, were five teenagers, all looking to be no older than sophomores. Slowly, the view focused in on one of the girls sitting under the bridge, looking rather zoned out as she breathed in the cigarette dangling on her bottom lip.

"Lydia Deetz," Juno says, flicking the cap off her silver flask and taking a swig.

"Deetz..." Beetlejuice murmurs under his breath. "I recognize that name..."

"You retrieved her mother, Emily Deetz, from the Netherworld last week," Juno grumbles, pursing her thin lips. "But that's beside the point; focus! And wipe off that sweat, you pig, don't stain my seat."

Beetlejuice doesn't give much of a reaction to the insult, he simply wipes his face with the back of his wrist and examines Lydia.

"Mother, I-I don't want to complain, but... A grieving, trouble-making teenager seems like a bit much for my first assignment, right?" He questions shyly.

Juno looks at him with a wide, wrinkled, forced grin. "Oh no! Weww, I wouwd nevew want to put you in a tuff position, sweety," She purrs in an unsettling baby voice. "If it's too hawd fow my wittle angew, I guess you'ww just have to stay up here with me."

Beetlejuice swallows thickly and tugs absently at his collar.

"No... No, she's perfect, I'm sorry for complaining," he says, defeat clear in his tone.

"Good. Now listen to me carefully, I don't want you fucking this up like you do everything else," Juno begins, shifting slightly and repositioning her large, pure white wings. "First, you need to keep the girl alive, but not by any means necessary. If an earthquake or tsunami or something occurs and it's clearly going to kill her, you can't pull off some little miracle and let her somehow survive.

"Secondly, you can not show yourself to her, because revealing yourself is confirmation of an afterlife and creates a big mess and a stack of paperwork I don't want to deal with. Lastly, you'll be able to hear where she is and what she's doing at all times and feel whatever physical pain she feels, so even you shouldn't find it too hard to keep an eye on her."

When the lecture was done, Beetlejuice just replied with a curt nod and stood up again, stretching his ruffled wings. Without any goodbyes, he walked off the chair and glided towards the wall, disappearing through the projection of Lydia Deetz and being spat out in the sky, flapping his wings to keep in the air and staring down at the group of teens from above.

Puffing out his chest and quietly ordering himself to be confident, he closed his wings and dove towards the ground, reopening them a foot above to allow for a smooth landing.

He spun on the heels of his feet, jaw slightly agape as he took in his surroundings. The wind, tussling his moss-green hair; the sun, warming his pale white skin; the ground, solid and hard underfoot. Everything was so different from the hell that was heaven, and this filthy gutter was enough to make a smile spread across his face.

Finally, Beetlejuice turned and looked at Lydia. He hesitated for a moment, his hands twitching at his sides, before slowly walking over to her. He stared at the girl from above and sighed deeply, turning around and sitting beside her.

"You make a good scapegoat, babes," he commented under his breath. "Do me a favor and stay this easy for the next 80 or so years, okay?"