Burned

39

After Teddy turned five, Cyril lost most of the energy he had left. Alfie said dogs his size rarely lived past eight-years-old so it was a miracle he was going on eleven.

One morning, Louise woke Alfie up in a panic. Cyril was lying on the end of their bed and it didn't look like he was breathing. Alfie simply nudged the mastiff with his foot and he awoke, tail wagging happily.

Louise wasn't ready to lose either of them. But she did everything she could to contain her worry and grief. The last thing she wanted to do was upset Teddy or make Alfie feel guilty. She learned to simply take each day at a time. And when that failed, she started to go by every hour, then every minute. All she had was that minute. Alfie and Cyril were fine and alive. She had them forever in that moment. The minutes and hours and days ahead were unknown. All she had was a minute. A second even.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Late one night, Louise woke to find the bed next to her empty. It wasn't uncommon. Alfie often got up to walk or simply sit on the beach. Sometimes the pain was too much to stay in bed. Apparently, he'd left Cyril behind because the mastiff could be heard snoring from Teddy's room.

Louise slipped on a thin sweater over her nightgown and walked outside. She traveled down the well-worn path through the dunes, passing by the spot where he'd proposed to her.

Alfie was standing by the shore. The moon was nearly full and there wasn't a cloud in the night sky. The beach was illuminated enough to see his figure. The moon reflected off the calm waves that lapped at the shore. The sand still held some of its warmth from soaking up the summer sun all day.

"Alfie..." Louise called a few feet away from him so she wouldn't startle him. She knew he would be deep in his thoughts.

The man turned and smiled when he saw his wife. "Cyril's snoring wake you up?" He reached out a hand to her.

"I think so." She giggled and took his hand. "Or maybe I could sense you'd left."

"Maybe." He'd discarded his coat onto the sand, unnecessary in the warm air. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, displaying some of the worst of his cancer. He used his cane to lower himself to the sand. Louise followed, curling up beside him as he stretched his legs out. He let out a long sigh, inhaling the salty air.

"Have you finished your letter to Teddy yet?" She asked quietly. The two had talked about his legacy, as hard as it was. But they agreed that Alfie would write a letter to Teddy and she'd give it to him when the boy turned eighteen. That way, Alfie could explain a few things in his own words.

"Just about." Her husband nodded. "It's hard, I'm worried I'll leave something out." He admitted and wrapped an arm around her.

"You'll make sure to add everything you need to. You've already spent at least a month on it." She reminded him.

"Just want it to be perfect."

Louise hummed in agreement and cuddled closer into his side. She looked up at the clear stars up above them. "Maybe we become stars when we've passed." She whispered.

"Stars?" Alfie tilted his head to see where she was looking.

She shrugged. "Maybe. So that we can always look down on the people who miss us."

Alfie didn't expect much after death. His religion was more focused on what you did during your lifetime rather than what happened after it. But he didn't want to tell Louise that he wouldn't be there for her. Because whether it was just a thought, he wanted to always be in the back of her mind. Whether it was selfish or not, Alfie didn't like the feeling of leaving her behind. So he didn't plan on it.

"That'd be nice." He agreed quietly and kissed her cheek. "I'd like that."

"Yeah, me too." She looked away from the constellations and pressed into the crook of his arm.

"Or maybe you go back to a time you've really enjoyed. Reliving that moment over and over again." Alfie mused. "What'd that be? What's your favorite moment?"

His wife was quiet for a moment, sifting through all the lovely memories she had with him. "The moment you held Teddy for the first time. The love I saw in your eyes. It was perfect. I was so worried when I found out I was pregnant; I was worried you would doubt yourself as a father. But I saw it in your eyes that you didn't doubt yourself. You knew how to be a father. It was just in your blood."

Alfie had to walk himself through a few deep breaths. His chest had tightened so much that he was afraid he would lose his cool if he spoke. Finally, he composed himself, focusing on Louise's steady breathing. "Y-yeah...I'd pick that moment too."

"Good." She sniffled and dabbed her eyes. "I'll see you there then." Her whisper barely rose above the sound of the gentle waves.

"See you there, love."

A/N: Next chapter is the epilogue. Bring your tissues, see you there.