Chapter 1: Arrival

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As soon as Linda hung up with Donna, her pretend grief and sympathy turned into excitement and clean-freak mode.

Frank groaned and rolled his eyes as he took his anger out on scrubbing the kitchen floors. Why he had to clean his whole fucking house because the neighbors kid was visiting his own parents house was a complete mystery.

He didn't even like the Ways. He was never allowed to play with their sons when they were growing up because, let's be real, Mr. Way was a total dick. That balding bastard was probably too much as a baby. He had little to no patience, he always got mad at Frank for "being too loud" in his own damn yard, and whenever the Way boys did come over, they had to go home as soon as he was home from work.

He had zero relationship with these people, and now he had to do extra chores around his house because one was visiting from out of country.

"It's not like he's staying here, Ma." Frank sighed, aggressively rubbing sweat from his forehead as he mentally cursed out a small cherry stain on the tile. "Besides, we barely know the guy, why are we going to his dad's funeral?"

"Because we have to show neighborly support, Frank! I can't believe you. Me and Donna have been friends for years." His mother stomped around in her little bitch fashion and stood beside him, silently criticizing his every move.

Frank, being the precious little shit he is, began "accidentally" rubbing the washrag on the toe of her red high heeled shoe as if cleaning it.

"Frank!" She lightly hit the back of his head and stomped away, sighing in frustration with her son. "I expect this house to be clean when I get home. Not just 'tidied up.' Clean."

Frank smiled to himself and sat up, looking as innocent as he could while still keeping up the asshole-ish undertone. "And when are you getting home?" He asked.

"Tonight, before dinner." She tossed her perfectly curled hair into a ponytail and picked her car keys off the table. "Clean." She begged, slamming the door behind her.

So, obviously, Frank immediately called his best friend for a rant.

"Yeah, Linds. My whole fucking house. By myself." He complained, chucking another towel into the drier. "I don't even know this kid."

He and his cousin Lindsey had practically grown up together, they'd been best friends since junior high, and in hopes of her rubbing her "perfectness" off on him, the Ieros gladly let them spend time together, only to realize when it was too late to separate the two, that the exact opposite had happened.

"Aww poor baby." She giggled. "I'll be there in twenty minutes with coffee and food."

"Oh, Linds, you're the absolute best." He grinned into the phone. "See you in twenty."


~ ~ ~


Three hours and two and a half playlists later, the house was spotless and Frank and Lindsey were collapsed on the living room floor, eating month-old Pringles and laughing about nothing.

"Hey," Lindsey rolled over to look at him. "when your mom gets home, you can show her what a big boy you are by showing her this clean ass house you did all alone."

"I didn't do it alone."

"Oh, right." She tilted her head. "I did."

"Oh, shut up, I'm helpful!"

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