Have you ever felt worthless? (Book of mormon)

Coping (Warning! May be triggering)

A/N: This could be triggering for grief and self harm. If you ever feel suicidal or if you self harm or think about it, please talk to someone you trust.

Noah hadn't left his room in days and the Elders were worried

Noah only left his room for meals but after he had eaten he went back to bed. He had moved into Erics room and kept everything Eric owned close to him. Noah always had Erics name tag with him and he never went anywhere without it.

He wanted Eric back.

He lay in Erics bed, breathing in his scent and trying to preserve it. Connor had sent a letter to Erics parents, notifying them on their son's death and Connor did get a reply but if wasn't what he was expecting.

"Dear Mr. McKinley,

Thank you for notifying us about our son and we are very upset to hear the news but one thing we will never be able to forgive is that he failed his mission above all else. At least we have 2 other sons that will complete their missions and will not be failures like Eric.

Mr and Mrs Schrader"

Connor screwed up that letter and threw it in the bin and walked into his own room, slamming the door. Noah hadbeen watching through a crack in his door and walked out once he made sure the coast was clear. He rushed over to the bin and fished the letter out and his eyes skimmed over it. How could Erics parents be so cold? Noah hated Erics parents and blamee them for Erics death. He stormed back into his room but was stopped when James put a hand on his shoulder.

"Noah, Eric's death has been hard for all of us but we just have to do what he would of wanted us to do.....try and live your life" Noah shrugged James off and slammed his door. He knew James meant well but he found it nard to move on. He sat in the middle of Erics bed, cross legged woth a blanket covering him. His hands closed around the small name tag and Noah let sobs escape. Sohpbs soon wrecked his body but little did he know thst the 8 men that he lived with were ourside of his room, their ears pressed up to the door,  trying to listen in.

Noah got off his bed and lifted up a loose floorboard and picked up the knife he had hidden under the floorboard. He gave the blade a clean before he pressed the cold blade to his skin and in one swift movement the blade glided across his skin, drawing blood. The sound quietness made the Elders wprried and James got to work on picking the lock. The Elders burst into the room (More like fell into the room)  as Noah made the 3rd cut.

"Noah!" Oliver snatched the blade from him, stqring st disbelief,  while Jaspar re entered the room and got to work on bandaging Noahs arms.

"Noah, why would you do this?" Chris asked as he and Arnold helped Noah move from the corner of the room back to Erics bed and got him to lie down and covered him up, treating him like a little child but the question they all had was "Why Noah? Why?"