Succour

Ben, February 28

Have you ever lied to someone because it was best for them? I'm not happy with the way today ended, but it was the right decision. Today I chose to cut a woman I love more than I've ever loved anyone loose. Let me back up...

I grew up in London, England. I'm the only son of a couple of almost wealthy, overprotective parents. My first year of high school a group of upperclassmen in a government group took a tour of parliament and then traveled to the United States to tour Washington, D.C. I remember thinking the group looked brilliant and traveling sounded like something I really wanted a go at. I begged my parents for years and when I was old enough to join the group my parents gave their stamp of approval.

That summer, however, the program was cut for lack of funds. I became insufferable and my parents decided, instead, to sign me up for the student exchange program so I would still get the chance to travel. The exchange program works exactly as the name implies. I would get to live in America with a family while their son or daughter would live in London with my family. I was approved. That's how I came to be living in the Arizona desert for my final year of public school. It's also how I met Elizabeth Banks.

Liz sat directly to my left in our Calculus course. I silently admired her focus and confidence, although I never told her that. Our teacher was dull and my mind regularly wandered. Liz, on the other hand, was always hunched over her desk furiously writing. I assumed she was taking copious notes, although it's entirely possible she was doodling little hearts around some hunk's name. I've never asked.

During that year I had confidence and swag in surplus. I dated and probably shattered the hearts of more than a few sexy American high school girls. I never found the confidence needed to approach smart girls though. They were so intimidating. I suppose that hasn't changed.

Anyway, we graduated and I returned home to England. I decided to make Science and Math my life and attended University with a focus on engineering. I found three mates to share a flat with in the city and we lived it up good. Girls came and went for years, the walk of shame from our door became almost legendary. I'm ashamed to admit a fair number of those skanks were in the loft for me. I always hated myself the next day, but it didn't stop me. I became increasingly frustrated with the number of women who seemed like someone different when they were no longer in a crowd of friends or people.

Despite what you must think of me, I was actually becoming quite an exceptional student during this time. By my third year at University, I had gained the reputation of being the kind of student a professor could expect to take an assignment above and beyond what they asked of us. I never merely settled for acceptable.

Most memorable was my statistics class during my third year. The assignment was to conduct a proper survey by collecting valid unbiased data from at least fifty people and draw conclusions based on the data. I decided to conduct a survey that would get to the heart of my problem with women. I would ask women what they were looking for in a mate. Taking my survey up a level, I decided 25 women would be from the UK and 25 from the US.

I split my data into age groups. 20% of my data from each country would come from each of the 5 age groups I'd decided upon. I would also notate relationship status in case that turned out to be an interesting connection. I suppose I'm probably boring you with the details of the mathematics. I'll cut to the point.

My Arizona high school proved to be very helpful in this survey. One call to the Principal had given me the contact information for the alumni association president. From there I was given emails to help me with my research. Some of these people were surveyed, some were asked for relatives or friends in different states who could help me. The result was that I actually surveyed over 100 women who spanned the entire country and covered all my age ranges.