The Overnight Fame of Steffi McBride

Chapter Three

     ‘But why have they fallen out?’ I wanted to know.

     ‘Oh,’ she muttered, ‘we don’t need to know the details. I dare say he has his reasons. Just don’t make him angry with your questions.’

     I couldn’t bear the thought of him and me ending up like that; but on the other hand I couldn’t bear the thought of turning down this opportunity either. He was the one who was being unreasonable, not me; he just had to be won over.

     The contracts were duly signed and because they had taken so long to find the right person to play Nikki, I was able to start work almost immediately. Going in the first day was like starting at a new school, not knowing where to go or what to do. The dressing rooms were really tatty and rundown, like all the money had been spent on the set and nothing backstage. There was a couch in mine, which took up nearly the whole room, a tiny dressing table and a light with a bare bulb, a bit like a prison cell. My name had been typed on a piece of paper and stuck to the door. I noticed that the more established cast members had their names on little brass plaques and screwed on properly, which made me feel like I wasn’t likely to be there for long.

     Everyone seemed to be rushing from one set to another and they always seemed to understand what was expected of them next. I’d learned every line of the script religiously, but I still didn’t know when to go for something to eat or when I needed to report to make-up. The technicians and cameramen were a Godsend. I noticed that lots of the other actors didn’t talk to them at all, but that made me feel uncomfortable. I discovered that when a director didn’t make it clear what he or she wanted me to do, I could usually find a technician who would point me in the right direction, making sure I was visible to the camera and not blocking anyone else, things like that. If you didn’t get things right first time they had to re-shoot which took time, and everyone always seemed to be in a desperate hurry to move on to the next scene. It was the rush and urgency that made the days exciting, but it was nerve racking too when you were terrified of letting the others down. There was a definite pecking order among the cast, with the old hands ruling the roost and newcomers like me scratching around at the bottom. I got the feeling that I needed to watch everything I said and not give anyone the idea that I fancied myself; a bit like being back at school in that way too.

     A lot of the cast were untrained people like me, (sorry Dora, but it’s true really), just able to be themselves. Others were really serious actors who had been to proper drama schools and acted in Shakespeare and at the National and all the serious stuff. They were the ones I really loved to watch at work. They would come into work looking completely different and talking in posh actorish voices, then as they went through make-up and costume they would gradually become their characters, their voices and personalities changing so that by the time they were on the set they were unrecognisable. I wanted to be like them. I wanted to be able to transform myself and live in different skins.

     Once I’d settled in there wasn’t anything about my new job that I didn’t love. I loved the rehearsals, the banter in the canteen, the parties at the other cast members’ houses or at clubs in the West End, the hours in make-up and costume and even the hours and hours of sitting around on the set waiting for the moment to say a couple of lines. Even though we would be there from seven in the morning till seven or eight at night six days a week, I never wanted to leave. Some days I didn’t even have a scene to do, just had to be there in case something came up, and to sit in the background in pub scenes or street scenes. The old hands would grumble a bit on those days, but I didn’t care. I was happy watching and learning from them. But what I really liked were the big dramatic scenes that were being written in for Nikki. Audrey told me that they’d known I was right for the part when they saw me crying and snotting and telling the story about Mum and Dad fighting. Nikki had lots of scenes like that, although I tried to keep the snot to a minimum, and I loved every minute of them, losing myself completely while the cameras were turning and Nikki was doing her thing.