When I was little my mom used to tell me that when all of the stars align, that's when everything good happens. I used to believe that. I really tried to continue to believe it after she was gone, but I just couldn't. In fact I couldn't believe in any sort of happiness.
I don't remember much of what happened before she got sick, just how tired she always was. The rest is all a big blur. I was young and naive, so I couldn't tell how sick she truly was. Even if I could have I know she would have still hidden it. My mom hated showing any sort of pain or weakness. She didn't want to burden me or my dad. I understand that now. Maybe more than I should.
My mom loved the stars and everything related to them. If she hadn't had me at the young age of 18 I know she would have gone to college for astronomy. It's not that I think she was unhappy with her life, although I'd have to be naive to say that she wouldn't have rather gone to school for astronomy. When I think about it I realize how much of her life revolved around her love for the stars. She even named me Seren after them.
My mom was a social butterfly. Even after she got sick she was still always talking to someone. Me on the other hand was always quiet, but after she died I basically wouldn't talk to anyone besides my father. I was a loner, but it was my choice. I had no issue with it. In fact I preferred it over any other type of social interaction. I saw no reason for that to change.
Here's the funny thing about life. It can change in a matter of minutes. A matter of a few words. Even a matter of who you're with in the moment that you let your heart take over instead of your mind. So, maybe if I hadn't been with him in that moment of weakness or maybe if I had taken my medicine, none of this would have ever happened.
