glow [s. rogers]

33

tony, who had been with him since the beginning. just like nat, but now they were gone. the few people that had seen him at the best and the worst, and the few that bothered to stick around. but now, without them, the present seemed partly empty.

even after the funeral, it felt wrong. it felt like it wasn't even real, like it was just a bad dream and no matter how hard he tried to pinch himself, he could not wake up.

his heart ached everytime he looked at delilah, who was trying so hard to keep it together for him, she had barely let herself cry. steve needed her, she couldn't be vulnerable until he was done grieving.

delilah met morgan, the little girl named after her. steve watched her as delilah braided her hair and played barbies with her. he thought she would be a great mother someday, just maybe not to his kids.

he could go back, to peggy, to the forties, to a time where he belonged.

"delilah." steve started one night as she sat in the room reading her book.

instantly she recognized the heaviness in his eyes and the guilt that plagued his voice and knew what was happening. he had to put the stones back tomorrow, he had an idea.

he could go back to his time, he could feel right.

"i know." she said softly, trying so hard to accept the unacceptable.

his heart broke a little when a tear slipped from her eyes, "what do you mean?"

"i know, steve. i know that it's been over for awhile and i just didn't want to accept it. i see it in your eyes, the pain. i see it now because i saw it in myself, i still do. you've become distant and you're so careful with what you say and what you do around me, like i'm just going to break. steve, you're turning into a stranger right before my eyes. but i understand."

"how did you-"

"i understand. if you're better off with her, back then, without me, then go. i'm going to miss you, fuck, i'm going to miss you so bad."

he shook his head, "no. delilah, this isn't fair. i can't do this to you."

"if you're going to stay here, with me, i want it to be because you want to. not because you feel obliged to."

"i don't feel obliged to, you're not making sense."

she held his hand and no matter how badly it hurt she continued on, letting him go.

"i am making sense, you know it too. i'll be whoever you want me to be, but i won't be the person that holds you back."

delilah was trying so hard to stop from sobbing when they released from the final hug, her heart aching because she knew what was about to happen.

she pressed a tear soaked letter in his hand, "please read this when you get there."

he nodded and smiled once more, kissing her forehead for the last time.

"i love you."

it took every ounce of self control that she had to not fire back with, "obviously not enough."

that's what hurt the most, the fact that they probably could have made it work between the two of them. that if steve was actually, truly, completely in love with her, if he was actually twenty times a million in love with her. but he didn't, she loved him more than he loved her. she always would.

she leaned on bucky as they watched the quantum tunnel pull him in. and just like that he was gone, to live on without her.

"are we going to be okay?" bucky asked, fear and worry laced within his voice.