At that, Harry throws the guitar at the mattress and folds his limbs over Elisha’s body, tackling her to the floor and pressing all his weight down, arms spread open next to her shoulders and head hidden on her neck, heavy breathing.
“You’re going with me,” he says firmly, his voice completely muffled against her skin; and it tickles, she finds out. So her first reaction is to push him away, but her strength is nothing compared to his. “You’re going with me, and if until then I become rich – which is totally an option,” she laughs loudly. “ – you’ll go with me to his expositions out of the country, too. Go get some fancy clothing.”
She laughs again before he smiles against her and pulls back to peck her lips briefly, the pressure there for just a second, almost like silk, and then gone. It sparks something up, though, and by then she knows she’s completely lost.
That’s way too fond, feels way too natural, though way too far.
And if she wants to explode by the time he grabs her guitar again, it’s okay.
It’s okay.
It’s not okay.
And if Zayn’s eyes are anything to go by, he probably understands.
She shakes the thought away, averting her gaze from Zayn’s and trying to stay focused on the present. She can’t have drifted away for more than mere seconds, but somehow it feels like hours, like she could replay the memory over and over. (Come to think of it, however, there are many others worth reminding; she shouldn’t stay stuck to a particular one.)
Zayn clears his throat uncomfortably. “Sure he did,” he says then, attempting sarcasm to enlighten the mood. “Always says he’s gonna be there, then leaves me hanging. I’m in need of a new friend.”
He laughs – has been laughing a lot these past few days – but it’s not funny.
Leesh tries to laugh too, but it’s so bitter.
“He’s really not going?” she asks, shifting her gaze to the streak of light again – now even further away –, playing with the shadows.
Zayn shakes his head. “Nah. He’s gone back to Cheshire to put his ideas back in place. You women mess him up.”
“And yet he goes back to two of them,” she attempts sarcasm, too, and comes to the conclusion she’s not half as good as the man before her. Simply because everything that comes out of her mouth sounds bitter and hurt, like- shit.
“’s family, you know? He’s been missing the bribe, the easy love and all.”
Elisha nods fervently. “No. I know. It’s just-”
Zayn sighs. “I know,” he looks at her firmly, smiles sympathetically. “You can still go if you want. Perrie’ll be there probably walking around on her own as I talk to people, so you can keep her some company.”
Leesh smiles, too, and as tempting as the offer sounds, she shakes her head. It is not her place to be there on her own, and she doubts she will feel comfortable in a place she knows she doesn’t belong without Harry. She is not that intimate with Zayn just yet, and he’s still Harry’s best friend.
It doesn’t feel right to be witnessing his apex when the person that’s been there supporting him all along, watching him grow, is 184 miles away from London, from where his best mate is having his moment.
At least Leesha still knows her limits when it comes to this; even if she’s already crossed her limits before. Not making the same mistakes twice.
“Sorry, Zayn. I’ll be somewhere else. But have fun.”
The fancy dress she actually spent time looking for will still wait on the wardrobe, sit there staring at her, accusing, as if she’s stupid.
She’s not stupid. It’s not stupid.
(it really, really is.)
--
To her right the sky is pink-ish, to her left, a purple-ish blue.
The breeze is subtle, but her hair is so down her chest that she can feel it more than she did a few months prior.
She’s decided she’ll let it grow, now. Will stop preventing it from going lower than the line of her neck and shoulders, which she’s been doing for so long. She likes the thought of being able to tie it up without having half the hairs escape later, likes how when it’s cold, she’s got more shelter.
It’s probably nonsense, but she’s been thinking a lot about that kind of stuff lately.
The truck is parked in the middle of the empty road, one she drove by for God-knows-how-long, and ended up here. It can possibly be labelled as nowhere.
She’s been sitting on the back of this old truck for hours now, and not a single car has driven by her. Not one.
So Leesh has simply grabbed the blanket, wrapped it around herself, and eaten only half of the Doritos she’s brought along. The way it cracked between her teeth was way too noisy, too disturbing.
Her mind is caught between no sounds, or only those sounds that people don’t care about, ones she’s come to adore, with time.
She listens to the words whispered through the shuffling leaves, tries to catch the alphabet that comes out of each stroke of night, slowly painted above her head. She tries, then, to morph those letters into words, those words into phrases, and then write another story.
This one isn’t about empty streets of London, random landscapes, or rushed people. It isn’t out of observation, or patience. It’s not.
This one, particularly, is one web of tangled words, trying to find their own place to rewrite a story already lost.
--
Author's Mind (?)
Comments: 1. I AM BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK :) And I really don't have enough words to apologise for how long it's taken me to write again. I feel so shitty for having abandoned you guys. Really, you don't deserve it. But, hopefully, I'll get to update every weekend now. No longer twice a week, for now, because I'm really in a rush, but I'll try. Hopefully you still remember me, and hopefully I still know how to write. Let's pray this chapter wasn't shitty. Let me know. I love you. 2. The picture in the media is how I picture the last scene of the chapter (sort of - obviously, the girl is not blonde, and that guy wasn't supposed to be there, but that's just so you can have an idea of the scenario. Idk.)
Dedication (to the best comment): {@shagun1D} Aw, thanks. I'm glad I can make you feel the same as him just using words. Makes me ridiculously happy to know I have that effect on someone. Hopefully you'll keep enjoying this story.
Next Update: Next weekend, either October 10 or 11 (after watching the WWA movie, obviously :)
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Dealing With Absence » h. styles au
Fanfiction✓ "The day he lost his mind was the day he lost his heart." - He's a broken-hearted artist who's just left rehab with nothing but the clothes on his body. She's chosen living life waiting tables in a nearly bankrup café instead of going further on h...
49ᵀᴴ CHAPTER
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