Broken

62

"I can see that, but talk to me, what happened?"

"I don't really know, yesterday wasn't very good. Some kids were being dicks an-"

"Language."

"Sorry, some kids were being assholes, and they knocked my soda on one of my sketchbooks, then they just laughed, and I started feeling nervous."

"Did you call mrs Kang?"

"I did, we talked on the phone and I went in for a session right after school, today. I took my medicine but it's still not a good day."

"That's good, but are you sure you don't want to tell your girlfriends about this? They are there for you, Chae."

"Not yet. And thank you, for shouldering my attacks with me. I still haven't paid you back the bail money."

"Hey, no. Look at me." Her voice is as sweet as it was all those months ago. "You have nothing to pay me back for. And I'll bail you out as many times as I have to, but I need you to promise me you will talk to Mina and Tzuyu about this."

"I promise I'll try. Just, not today."

"Okay, not today. Today you will go out there and be with them. Those girls are terrified they messed up." I make to speak and she just shakes her head. "I mean it, Chaengie, they are more than ready to catch you, just let yourself fall on them. I'm not as close anymore, and I need to know you trust your soulmates to bring you back up when I can't."

"Okay." Is all I can say, not trusting myself to speak up anymore.

"Great. Now, I'm hanging up and you are going out there and apologise to them, both are really worried about you. No need to tell them anything, just be sure you let them know it's not their fault, because that is what they are thinking right now."

"I promise, thanks, Ji."

"Nothing to thank me for. Now go, remember I love you and call me whenever you need to."

"Will do, later."

Then I hang up the call, this is a mess, I'm a walking mess. A few months ago, I lost control when I was out shopping for a gift for Tzuyu and Mina, just something I had been meaning to give them for our anniversary, it was a little far, but I wanted to have them done especially for them, it would take some time to get ready. I was at a jewelry ordering the bracelets, explaining how I wanted the design, when a very full of herself woman came in, demanding she was tended to immediately and calling me whatever she could think of that made it clear she found me to be just another dirty kid, spending some scraps she had earned doing part time and her money was better than mine.

What really happened is a blurr, all I know is that I was in a hospital, after I came to, the doctor said I took some beating and the officer who came to take my statement explained I jumped the lady and began punching wherever I could land my fists on, the security guard had to get rough when prying me away from the woman. I wasn't in any deep trouble, everyone on the store said she was in the wrong, and I asked her to stop before snapping, mrs Kang was called to the hospital and told them I had anger issues, maybe some personality disorder that wasn't confirmed yet, and was very volatile, as my medication was just switched. All I needed to do was call someone to pick me up.

My parents were in a business trip, Jeonghoon wasn't an option, I considered the girls, then. Mina and Tzuyu would ask for a conversation I wasn't ready to have with them, Nayeon and Momo would also need more information, but Jihyo, she was the perfect option, I knew she wouldn't ask anything I wasn't ready to talk about, that's how our relationship had always been.

I asked the doctor to call Jihyo, explaining my parents were out of town and she was the one they told me to call if something like this happened. Once she arrived, everything was easy enough, she paid for the hospital bill and took me home, ordered us some food, I noticed she didn't eat much and ordered just a little, enough for one, back then we still didn't know. It was kind of late when I decided to speak up, I told her everything, no idea why, but I couldn't stop talking, she just listened, never really interrupting me.

Once I finished, Jihyo said I could call her whenever, and that she would be glad to spend the night when I asked her for company. I know, now, that the money she spent that night have made a real difference for her, but I only found that out after, which made me even more grateful for what she did, back then we didn't know she was going to be thrown away, nor that the Ims would take her in, but she still spent the money she had been saving to move on me, without a single complaint or second thought.

All I can do now is try and do better, for her, for our friends, for my girlfriends. So I just head to the bathroom to fix myself a bit, before returning to my bedroom to try and allow my girlfriends to care for me.

"Micchan, Yuyah, I'm sorry."

"Young-" A voice, Mina?

"I'm sorry."

"Chaeyoung." It's closer now.

"I'm sorry."

"CHAEYOUNG!"

I snap awake, Mina, Tzuyu and Dahyun are here? Ho- Oh, right, they were coming over today. Why am I dreaming of that day again?

"Bad dream?" Tzuyu asks, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"Yeah, looks like it."

"Well, don't worry too much, it's just a dream." Mina says, kissing my forehead.

"Now, go shower. You are sweating like a horse." Dahyun says, making to get out of my room.

"Shouldn't it be 'sweating like a pig'?" Tzuyu looks intrigued.

"Pigs don't sweat, Choco. Now, I'll be downstairs flirting with your piano. Go shower and relax a little." Dahyun laughs and gets out.

Mina and Tzuyu follow right after, I am, indeed, sweating like a horse, the memory was too real. I need to remember to hug Jihyo extra tight when I meet her later.