A Touch Of Sin [BxB]

15.

"I would go back to the party right now and kiss you in front of everyone if it meant us finally being together."

His lips part in surprise. His body is completely frozen. Our stare is completely charged with tension, before he lets out a disbelieving laugh.

"Yeah, I doubt that."

"You know I would do that for you."

"Why can't this just stay between us?" he demands, striding towards me once more. "Why does it need to become this big moment? Can't it just be us? Because that's all that matters."

"I don't want to be a secret, Jake. I want people to know I'm with you. I want to be able to hold your hand in public. I want you to come to family events with me."

"But why?" he exhales, throwing his unbloodied hand through his hair. "Why does it have to be like that?"

"Because that's fucking normal!" I yell. "That's normal, okay? And it's what I want."

"Well, you're not going to get it!" he yells just as frustrated back.

"Yeah, I know that! That's why I'm moving on!"

Jake scoffs, rolling his eyes, which only makes me about ten times angrier. "Yeah? With number fucking nine? Have fun with that."

"I will," I snap back. "We're going out during the week."

"And if you think –" he continues, pacing in front of me, before he stops. "What?"

"Yeah," I jut my chin out, satisfied that I've finally snagged his attention. "There are people out there who want what I want, Jake. I'm not waiting around for you anymore."

"You're going out with him?" his voice is small.

"Yes."

"So, what, you think he's attractive?" He's standing completely still now, his wide eyes on me.

"Yes."

"More attractive than me?"

No one is more attractive than you to me, Jake.

I sigh. "Don't do that, Jake. Just go."

"I don't want to go."

"Then what do you want?" I groan, falling onto the mattress.

"You."

"That's not good enough," I hang my head.

"Why?" he whispers, dropping to his knees in front of me.

He collects his hands in mine. Mine soft and smooth, his hard and bloodied. His thumb strokes mine. He scoops his finger under my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes.

"I can't keep explaining this to you, Jake. You're not stupid. You understand what I'm saying. You've made yourself clear – you don't want to be together."

"But I do!"

"No, you really don't." A God-damn tear slides down my cheek. "Because you would do everything you can to be with me, J. You're not even trying."

He looks like I've hit him again. I guess I have, just not physically this time. I pull my hands from his and stand, turning my back to him. I wipe at my face, feeling drained and exhausted.

"Just go. I can't do this anymore."

"I can't leave like this, Cal," he whispers. "I can't have you hate me."

I turn to him once more. "Pretty obvious I don't hate you, J. It's why we're in this mess."

"J," he murmurs with a smile. "I like that."