Inner dissension

Meeting

Hey, I'm Riley and today I don't want to go to school ... I would like to stay at home, I don't want to get up but I have a literature check ... On which I don't feel so ready, but no problem I'll come back  on the bus.Yes, these are the thoughts that assail me at 6 am ... What a drag, I really don't want to.  But I have to get up, under the screams of my mother I am finally convinced ... Also because I have no choice.
With bad desire I throw myself out of bed, with such force that since I'm weak in body for a few seconds my head is spinning.
With a hand on my head thinking of holding it still I head to the bathroom, I look in the mirror and I always think the same thing "that pussy you are today RI" hahaha like no, maybe .. I look at myself and I see that my hair took over  a form out of the ordinary.  I look like a cross between a raccoon and a lion, nice to start that morning.
I settle the garments, I pull them back in a half-tail, my fringe doesn't want to know to stay still ... It goes in all directions, but because the other girls' hair is so beautiful and static and I look like I just left  an electrical industry?. I wash, then I dress with the first things that happen to me ... Joke, I put at least all the previous evening to choose something decent to wear, since I don't like my body I always try to hide it.  I put on a pair of Jean ripped on my lap and a black sweatshirt.  I look like a small barrel.  I'm six feet tall, not even the satisfaction of saying sixty.  However, leaving this inconvenience to finish the work there are my hair that since I wear them like a bob I make my face look even more clumsy ... As if that were not enough it seems that a third world war has broken out on my face  .  FANTASTIC.  tired of looking at me in the mirror I leave the bathroom and go to the kitchen, I do a thousand paranoia about my weight here this morning I don't want to eat anything, I'll just drink a glass of water.  I go back to my place of life and brush my teeth, I look at myself for the last time in the mirrors, hoping that that reflected image will change but it didn't.  Then, annoyed and sad, I went back to the bedroom and put in my bed, took my backpack and left the house to get the bus.
I am always one of the first to arrive at a stop, annoyed with the whole world, I begin to look at the cars and wait for the bus.  It arrives, oh finally ... Late but it was decided to arrive.  Within and as usual I sit behind my two friends in front of me, the seats next to me I almost always keep busy since two of my friend's two stops after my sale.  Health my friends and convince myself to take out the book to revise.  At one point the bus leaves and I look outside, we arrive at a stop where my attention is caught by a disoriented but very nice boy ... I think to myself "uhh but it's very nice .. Imagine if it goes up and  sits next to me ... Stop RI what you think ... It will never happen "Fuck saw me, I immediately look away at my book and out of the corner of my eye I see it a bit undecided but then it goes up.  .. "oh my God ..." he approaches me, "why are you approaching me?!" ... After two seconds he asks me << is he free?  >> referring to the place.  Without even looking at it, I say yes and take off my backpack, resting it on my knees ....  My heart beats hard, in the end I do everything but study ... At a certain point I feel observed and after two seconds it turns around and tells me ....