FAITH

Pain

If asked how would you define pain?

Do you think of a certain memory when the word is mention?

Does your body freeze up when certain images come to mind?

Or have you went through life without every really knowing the true meaning of pain, as to be able to define the word you need to be able experience it.

Sasha Burns would say that there are different kinds of pains. There are ones that are short lived and then there the long lasting ones that never leave you.  A pain that cause you to constantly think about it and live with it in your everyday life.

Sasha truly knew how it felt to feel pain and loss. As she was suffering one of the greatest lost that she never in her life thought she be experiencing even though she fully known the risk she took by marring a man like her husband.

But she always believed that he be able to protect her and her family from his work... that no one would dare to touch what was his. But they did dare and in doing so destroyed everything. Her daughter had been murder. Taken before her time and Sasha couldn't help but feel as if she should join her little one for so that she wouldn't be alone and these thoughts lead her to to dark places and dark actions.

Edwardo looked at his pale, skinny and nearly unrecognisable wife, who was lying still on their bed. She was only a shell of the woman who he use to know and love.

To describe Edwardo, not many would use kind words if any.  He was a beast to thoes that were not of importance to him. There were little of them. But his family, his wife and children and his familia , he do anything for.  They were the only things that were important to him.

He couldn't really over come what his wife attempted to do, but he knew if he ignored her wishes she would try again and that, he couldn't let happen, he couldn't lose her not completely, he had already lost so much.

He couldn't believe the situation he was in. He felt ashamed of what had happen and took full responsibility of his failures to protect his family, as in the mafia, failure to protect ones family is of great shame. It is a man duty to protect his wife and children.  And he failed.

It was the only reason he was allowing his wife to get her wish. He knew what he had to do now, but in doing so would destroy him completely but he rather that than have his wife destroy herself and she would. There was only so much he could to protect her. At this point he longer cares about his reputation. The only thing he cared about was protecting what remained of his family which was uncommon for men of his work to do.

When his daughter was taken and killed he was busier than ever in hunting the men that were responsible for his little girl death. He was going to make them suffer to point that they wish that they had never existed. They would know what his pain after he was done with them he make sure of it.

But in doing this he wouldn't have time to make sure his wife did not do anything that would endanger herself and with the state of her mind he knew he couldn't ignore it. He would always put her first,  no matter what even if it would destroy what little happiness he had left.

He sighed while staring at his wife.

"You win bella.. I will have Diego draw up the papers tomorrow morning."

Sasha eyes shot to her husband's frame, who was sitting on the edge of the bed facing the window. She could not see his face but for some reason that brought relief to her.

"I know now nothing will ever be the same. I fool myself to believe that we can over come little Ella's...death...but we cant...you cant.."

Sasha felt the tears run down her face as she sat up. She wanted to comfort her husband, the man she loved more than anything and tell him it was okay and they could get through this.. but she knew she couldn't not when she was this close to her wish.

"I'm.. sorry I just.. I can't be here anymore Ed..I'm not strong enough I...I"

She tried to explain to offer some sort of explanation but as her words began to fail her, her husband quickly held  closed the distance between them and held her in his arms.

"Shh.. none of this is your fault Bella..what done is done.. you and Arianna will begin packing tonight. You will be leaving by the end of the week."

Sasha body froze, she tried pulling away from her husband so she could looked him in his dark eyes but he wouldn't let her and she felt his arms tightened around her and so relaxed she relaxed in his arms instead decided to enjoy having him holding her. In a small voice she asked

" Can't you come with us Ed. Leave this life please for me. For our.. family. You, me Arianna and Dante... forgot about revenge let's focus on there family we still have left...Please my love!..Your the Don..No one can question you but your father and if you talk to him I am sure he.."

Before she could finish, Eduardo pulled her by the chin to face him. She stop speaking immediately. His look was deadly, one she wasn't use to being directed at her.

"Stop...You know I cant so don't waste your breath. You are lucky I'm letting you and Arianna go to... your home in Ireland. I wish things could be different but they can't and that is our reality my love. You can have Arianna but that is all."

Edwardo words were delivered with coldness but there was pain and hurt in his words aswell. But Sasha was desperate and also full of hurt, pain and rage. She was not thinking when she began shouting, acting hysterical while breaking free from his arms and creating distance between them. 

"I want our family back! I want our Ella back! You promise me our family would be safe But that word does not exist in this life. I know that now and I won't make the same mistakes. If you won't come with me I will take our children and go if that's without you if that what it takes! I won't leave our sone! I'm not going to let this world destroy him!"

The room went silent and even though she was afraid Sasha held her husband icy stare but her body shiver at the look her husband was giving her. It filled her body with pure utter ice. He never been so angry with her before and with that he  stood up while taking a breath. When looking back at his wife she near cried at the sight of the defeated broken man she saw. She regreted her words instantly knowing she crossed a line.

" Ella is dead. You have to get over that. Nothing will bring her back..You will take Arianna and leave. No more will be said on this matter. If you cannot you will stay marry to me and live under this household. It is your choice Sasha. You can't have Dante. But you know that already. I will talk to our children and prepare them.You will pack Arianna's bags along with your belongings.  Everything else will be arranged for you both. Your lucky I'm letting you go with Arianna at all. And Sasha.. don't  ever threaten me again.Understand?"

Sasha look shocked at her husband hostility towards her as she continue to hestiate, Edwardo step towards his wife his aura full of domination and anger but a strange sense of calmness as well which startle her more and she knew this mode of his what's used when he was dealing with business, the tension in the room was increasing by the second.

"Do you understand?"

He question again his voice even calmer but for some reason it sent chills up Sacha back. The was so much tension in his words.

Sacha body felt num when she nodded weakly and with that Edwardo turned to leave the room, as he put his hand on the handle, he heard his wife softly whisper

"I am sorry... So so sorry"

He sighed at her hearing her quiet sobs. 'Me too he thought, me too.' With that he left the room to hear the echoes of his wife loud cries. As he walked down the corridor, he thought to himself

'How the hell, did we get here.'

In the life he lived, one minute you can have everything and the next it can all be taken away.