Emptiness

Why do you question yourself?

Emptiness, the feeling which you can never escape from, is dreadful.
   
      "What is the productive action have I ever done?"
       What is my dream?
       What is my specialty?
       What is the purpose of my living?"

Have you ever thought of these questions? Have these questions completely eaten your mind?

These unanswered questions, make me question about my existence everyday. Yet, I endure the day by putting a fake smile.

But deep down, it still haunts me. It still hurts.

I don't even believe in friendship or love anymore. To others, I'm a friend; but for me, they are just classmates.

And speaking of love, what is love actually? I don't think the attraction of beauty or having sex is love. To me, it's lust. People often misunderstand that physical attraction is love. But it is the mental connectivity of one understanding the other.

It's the habit of people, they come to you when they want something and leave if their job is done. Nobody is there in this goddamn world to ask you
"Are you okay? Do you need me?"
And even if they ask so, lies come out from your mouth saying:
  "I'm fine. Thank you."

You want to scream, you want to cry, you want to lean on someone's shoulder, you want to run away from this cruel world, yet you manage to say I'm fine.

To me, you are the strongest. Neither love nor friendship nor a psychiatrist can remove the emptiness in you. It's you, yourself.

Listening to songs, walking or distracting yourself means you are running away from the depression. It means you are hiding behind, like a coward. Instead, think about all the pure things you have done. Think of all the precious memories you had, even though you can't experience them now.

When Emptiness questions you, don't run away. Instead question him back. Nobody can replace you. You are unique. If you have given a life, it means that you ought to experience something : either good or bad. Doesn't matter since you have to experience it.

Love yourself to death even though your facial features or your physique ain't like Angelina Jolie's. You are beautiful inside out and I'm here to love you no matter what. And if you can't even love yourself, how can you love others? So stop spending time in staring the ceiling and crying. Instead do the things that'd make you happy.

Emptiness would run away if you are happy. It'd question itself what is he doing in an happy soul. Sing, dance, twerk and do whatever that'd make you happy. Isn't necessary that you need to be perfect in them. It's just to make you happy. And even if you get embarrassed while doing so, what's wrong? People learn from experiences. It's just that you gotta wake up from your bed to do so.

Open up your feelings. Say what you like and what you don't. Never wear a mask and convince yourself saying that I really like this when you don't.

Do all the things that'd make you happy. No matter what (this doesn't mean that you gotta go against the law 🤣)

So let's try to improve ourselves and be independent in all aspects. If you want to talk to me, I'm all ears. I'll listen to you no matter what, so feel free to talk to me.

I can't assure you that you'd have happy moments all times, I can't and I won't. But I can assure you one thing, i.e. time heals everything. So don't worry and do whatever you please.

Have a nice day!