When I Left You

1. Shattered Hearts

She remembered, remembered why she was here, in the airport, trying to get as far away from home as possible. Trying to run from the inevitable, he would find out, eventually he would know, but not today. Today she would run. She knew him, knew how amazing he would have been, but he couldn't know. She had known him his whole life, but she didn't know this. Would he love a mistake?

*FOUR WEEKS EARLIER:MARCH-THE NIGHT*

Emma looked down at it, a small white stick. Seventeen. The word echoed around in her head. Seventeen.

Everything said that this shouldn't happen- and she knew, it shouldn't. It was too late, there was no going back and she wouldn't even let that word come into her mind. That ugly word that would make her shiver, she had spent too many hours thinking about that. It was not an option.

She would raise this baby, and she would be the best mom.

"Em?"

Julian.

*CURRENT TIME:APRIL*

She looked down at the small bump, only visible because she knew to look for it. She always saw it.

She remembered the pure fear at first; of what was happening, of what was growing inside of her. She had never told Julian, she was a terrible liar and he'd seen straight through her act. It kept replaying in her head, that night. That night when she had run away, when she had shattered Julian's heart.

*FOUR WEEKS EARLIER:MARCH-THE NIGHT*

Julian looked at her, concerned. "Emma, are you okay?"

Emma suddenly felt all the energy drain out of her, she just wanted to lay in bed with Julian and sleep and ignore the rest of the world.

She looked away, knowing she wouldn't be able to handle the look on his face when she said what she had to, that all her resolve would crumble away into ashes.

"I'm not staying, I can't do it anymore, I can't do this, I can't do us. I don't love you Julian, I never have, I can't stand being around you anymore," Emma said, using every bit of her will power to force her voice not to shake.

"Emma? What about the parabatai curse? None of that would have happened if you didn't love me, Emma, please, don't lie to me," he pleaded.

He approached her, turning her face gently. There was so much hurt in his eyes, so much pain and pleading. It broke her, she couldn't do it, she had to do it. She had to break him, she had to shatter him. She had to shatter a piece of herself.

"No, don't touch me, never touch me," she said, she ripped his hand away from her face viciously, she couldn't believe the venom in her voice, dark, and different, she had to do it for her baby, she was going to be a mother. "I don't want you to touch me. I can't tolerate you, I can't stay here any longer, not with your family and not with you. I don't love you, I hate you. I can't do this anymore. Lying to myself, lying to everyone. I don't love you, I hate you Julian Blackthorn."

*CURRENT TIME:APRIL*

Emma remembered how Julian had stumbled back, how she had grabbed her backpack with food and water bottles and a few changes of clothes and ran, grabbing fifty dollars on her way out. She had grabbed Cortana, of course, a few extra steles and about a dozen seraph blades, she could sell about half of the seraph blades for quick cash in the Shadow Market, adamas fetched a nice price.

She would run, and she would make a living, and she would raise her baby. She would raise the baby to be the strongest, most amazing person, and she would do it alone.

I don't love you, I hate you Julian Blackthorn.

She would do it alone with a shattered heart, forever remembering the person who had broken her.