if it's not love then what is it ?

i love you

it's 10am in the morning and i'm waking up from a huge hangover . I don't even remember what happened last night but all i know is .. i had a great time with Laura.

*later on that day *

As i'm walking out to my car I hear a voice

"hey madeline" Laura said nervously

"um hi Laura , what are you doing here ?" i asked with a confused but happy look on my face

" i just wanted to ask you if you actually meant what you said last night ..." Laura said

"Oh" not remembering what i said "I umm.."

"It's okay if you don't remember, you probably only said it because you were wasted so it's okay if-"

then it hit me....

I said " i love you" to Laura . I'm sure i meant it in a friendly way but why does she have to ask ? I wonder if she thinks i meant it in another way .. oh.

" OH yeah , i meant it cause you are my best friend" laughing it off

" oh ...okay" Laura said with a upset tone "well , i guess i'll see you at school?"

" sounds great" i said while getting into my car

that was weird . i hope i didn't hurt Laura i mean , why would she think ... never mind . i'm probably just over exaggerating.

* the next day*

i stayed up all night thinking about what Laura asked, i did mean it in a friendly way but now it has me thinking ... did i mean it MORE than i thought i did ? I don't even know if I like girls yet . This is going to be a long year .

I don't really want to go to school today because i know i will have to face Laura and I know that this subject is going to come up and if i'm being honest ..i don't know what i feel . I have to stop thinking about it so i call my boy best friend jacob

*phone rings*

"Hey nerd , get ready for school" i said sarcastically

"Eh, i'm not going today . I'm hanging out with the hotties and some of my bros , wanna come ?"

" Nah , i'll pass ." i said kind of upset . Jacob never has time to talk to me or hang out and it kind of feels like we're drifting but i've known him since we were 5 years old and now he acts like we never met.

*later that day at school*

I see Madeline at her locker looking a little upset and she hasn't texted me since that conversation we had so i walked up to her ...

"Hey Laura" I said with a worried tone

"Hey Madeline about yestarda-"

" I'd rather not talk about that . Umm you wanna hang after school ?" i said

" sure." Laura said excited but doesn't want to show it

*after school*

as i'm getting the snacks and drinks ready for when Laura comes and I started to think .. am i bi ? do i have feelings for Laura ?

I got lost in my own thought and then i heard a knock on the door and of course it was laura so i rushed to the door and little more excited than usual...that's weird .

Laura walked in like nothing happened the day before but now i kind of want her to bring it back up because .. i don't know . I might like her .

As we are watching the movie i see Laura staring at me... like just STARING.. i kinda of liked it .

"Whatcha looking at ?" i said laughing

"You . why is that a problem?" she says joking

" No , it's just ..you never do that" i said

Laura scooted in closer and put her arm around my neck . is it weird that i'm getting butterflies? .

As hours past i find myself leaning on her shoulder and actually enjoying it .

" Hey can i tell you something" Laura says

"Yeah" i said"

" i love you " she said confidently

"i .. i love you too" i said still not knowing how i feel .