I was walking to school and passed by a goat farm and saw Logan and Malachi. I heard Malachi shout " BE FREE MY BROTHERS REBEL" as the Lovecraftian god Cthulhu just manifested into reality destroying all the barriers of the goats and completely destroying the farmhouse more than likely killing anyone in there before Cthulhu stepped through a red portal disappearing from existence.
An hour or so later I walked into bio and saw Malachi and Logan doing some quick "studying" for the test but they only thing they were studying was each others bodies. After the test which I and Logan failed Malachi and Logan started talking again I saw Malachi entranced in Logan's eyes and Logan staring at his ass which I have no clue how it is even possible given how the seats aren't see through and he was facing toward her but she was.
After the show I saw Malachi and I went to Driver's Ed where we just played Smash Ultimate Malachi played as Ganondorf (blue skin white hair" and I played as the single thiccest character Random. I got my main Cloud and he did good we were each at once stock when I knocked him off the edge and he barely failed to recover because let's be honest Ganon's recovery is pretty trash. Malachi took the L with grace and then we had lunch.
At Lunch Malachi and Logan were really close she was pretty much on his lap and he obviously had a hard on it looked like a fucking tent. A small tent but a tent nonetheless. Logan was staring looking deep in thought when Malachi asked " You ok?" and Logan nodded " I'm more than fine" she said chuckling to herself. Malachi nodded and then the bell rang to end lunch.
At the end of the day I watched as Logan and Malachi were talking and Malachi asked "want to hang out" it looked like Logan couldn't contain her excitement as she said "Fuck yeah". I followed them to his house. I watched for three fucking days as they watched Assassination Classroom three fucking times they were literally on top of each other cuddling and wait how the fuck did the tent get bigger? Perhaps the tightness of the jeans made it smaller but idk. OH MY WALUIGI HE KISSED HER CHEEK AND SHE TRIED TURNING HER HEAD TO KISS HIM. SQUEEEE. Sorry I couldn't contain my happiness I've been waiting for this for a while. I got closer as they started talking and I heard Logan say " I have something to tell you." Malachi nodded and said "Yes?" and Logan kinda started bouncing on his lap (wtf ew my poor asexual eyes)and replied with "I"
(I know this isn't accurate but *holds up reality stone* Reality can be whatever I want)
