If I Know

If I Know (One-Shot Story)

As I lay my bed, forcing my eyes to sleep. I heard her wails and curses. Halos gabi-gabi na niyang ginagawa ito.

I'm tired, gusto kong matulog ng payapa pero hindi ko magawa.
She was my dorm mate and my dearest friend. She was once a happy go lucky kind of girl.

Siya palagi ang napapatawa sa Akin kapag nalulungkot ako pero ni kaylanman ay hindi niya nagawang magkwento tungkol sa kanyang pagkatao.

I thought everything's okay, I thought she's fine.

Sino ba namang mag aakala na ang ganyang kasiyahing tao ay may mga problema palang tinatago.

Kung alam ko lang talaga sana hindi ko nalang sya iniwang mag-isa. Sana sinama ko nalang siya sa bakasyon naming magpamilya.

It's been 5 months simula noong nagpakamatay siya. Matagal-tagal na din pero parang kahapon lang.

Noong una naiinis ako sa kanya, dahil bakit hindi nya nagawang ibahagi man lang sa akin ang kanyang mga problema. Why did she keep it herself. I am her friend, I can listen to her para man lang mabawasan ang bigat na kanyang dinadala.

"Sabina tama na, itigil mo na to" I whispered as I open my eyes.

"You need peace, you've experienced a lot of pain, you need to stop this."

But then her cries grew loud like she's crying near me and then suddenly it stopped. Humangin ng malakas at tumindig ang aking balahibo.

"Gleece..."

"I'm sorry. Naging duwag ako." I looked at her beside me with shedding tears in her face at dugo sa kanyang palapulsohan.

I'm afraid of ghosts pero hindi ako natakot dahil alam ko na si Sabina ito. Si Sabina na karamay ko s alahat ng bagay. The one who's there when i'm alone. The one whom I can lend on.

Si Sabina...na kaibigan ko.

If only I could turn back the time.
I should've asked her if how is she. I should have wave good-bye the day I left her and the day she took her life.


(P.S. Suicide is never a solution. Open up to others as much as possible, don't keep everything to yourself. You are not alone. Above all, do not let your problems drown you.)