dreams {neymar jr.}

colombia

"Alessandra!" I look up to see my cousin Ahaní and I grin. She rushes towards me, and practically tackles me in a hug. "I was just about to come steal you from Neymar, but wah-lah, here you are!" She exclaims, before her voice drops to a whisper, "We saw that, by the way." I shrug halfheartedly. "Do you wanna talk about it?" She asks gently. "I guess so." I whisper. "Mama!" She shouts over her siblings. Estefani looks up from the sink, "What-oh hi Alesandra! Oh sweetie, what's wrong?" She asks, expression changing quickly several times. "Armando!" She shouts suddenly. Soon after, my uncle emerges from the backyard, tall and muscled up. He gives me a bear hug, successfully getting some--and by some I mean a lot of sweat on me. "Is it ice cream time?" His baritone voice asks softly. "I'm afraid so." I mumble.

So he rounds up all the kids, and they leave to get a treat. The three of us sit at the kitchen table, just like old times when I contemplated Ney's murder well over a hundred times. I stir the coffee in front of me, staring into the liquid blankly.

"How has it been?" Estefani asks quietly. I shrug, "I never thought it would hurt this much; being around him like this." I admit quietly. "How has he been?" Ahaní questions. "He's the same Neymar," I say with a small smile, "A lot more mature, and empathetic too. But.. He's still-" "The guy you fell in love with." Ahaní finishes. "Yeah." I mumble, "I don't know whether or not to just cave to him. But then, there's the aspect of me imagining things behind his actions. I just.. I don't know. I miss him so much--I mean I guess I miss being with him. I haven't been able to move on and it's been such a long time." I blurt, running my hand through my hair, tears blurring my eyes. "San, why are you overthinking this?" Ahaní practically demands. "He cares for you. Plain and simple. And we all know that you care for him, so just... just let it happen."i shake my head, "But I can't! don't you get it? We would only end up in the same place!" They sigh. "Go home, Alessandra." Estefani says gently, before getting up and returning to the kitchen sink.

Sighing, I pick up my phone and leave the house. Instead of calling Neymar, I walk around the familiar streets, halfheartedly greeting old neighbors and their children. After a while of walking, I finally make it to the beach. It was crowded, multiple families gathered, and children playing happily. I find a secluded part of the beach and sit down at the edge, taking off my shoes and socks and putting my feet into the water.

*•*•*

The sun has set by the time I call Neymar, and it's about ten. He arrives not soon after, and sits down next to me. He doesn't say anything, and neither do I. I stare at the moon hanging over the water, my arm brushing against his ever so slightly. He suddenly scoops me up into his arms, sitting me on his lap, hugging me tightly. I wrap my arms around his neck, leaning my head against his.

"You should probably get home." I say quietly, opening my eyes, only to look straight into his. "Will you stay with me tonight?" He questions. "Neymar it's still not a great idea.." I mumble, looking down. "Why?" I sigh as he lays his head on my shoulder. "Because I don't want to press repeat." I practically whisper. I can feel him slightly slump, "But I miss you." He says quietly. I hug him tightly, "I miss you too. I'm sorry, Ney." I say, blinking back tears as I kiss his cheek. He helps me up, and wraps his arm around my waist.

The house is quiet when we arrive, meaning everyone went out or they are asleep. We walk upstairs, and he hugs me one last time, before kissing my forehead, bidding me good night.

*•*•*•*•*

Brazil vs. Colombia

Ahaní, Rafaella and I sit down in the stadium, right by the railing. We arrived early, and Brazil was just coming onto the field to warm up. Seeing as how we were one of the few people in the stands, Neymar spots us immediately. He waves, and starts to jog over to us, and a smile creeps onto my face.

"Ni-ni!" He greets teasingly, bringing up Ahaní's infamous childhood nickname. "Hey, Ney-Ney!" she exclaims, scowl firmly in place. He laughs, and I smile. Rafaella obnoxiously shouts hi to her older brother. He wrinkles his nose before responding, throwing something at her that nails her in the nose. She screeches, then sticks out her tongue at him, crossing her arms.

"C'mere, San." He says quietly, small smile on his face. "Nooo." I say, looking around. "Yesss!" He practically shouts. I raise my eyebrows, "You're worse than Davi." He rolls his eyes, "Just get down here pleaseee? Before I have to go?" I comply, rolling my eyes, coming down to the railing. "What?" I ask. He reaches over to me boldly placing a hand on my hip. "What are you doing?!" It's my turn to shout. he grins up at me, "You look good in my jersey." I blush, desparately wanting to change the subject but having nothing to change it to. "Um thanks.." I mumble. "I want you to stay with me longer." He whines suddenly, leaning his head against my stomach. "Ney, I don't know about that." I sigh, looking away. "Just think about it." He says wrapping his arms around me. "I want you to be careful, okay?" I request, running my hands through his hair. "Yeah, of course." He says. A loud shout comes from several of his teammates, and he turns slightly, holding up a finger. He looks up at me, "I'll see you later, San." He says with a smile, before pressing a little kiss to my stomach. My jaw drops, "Neymar!" I shriek as he jogs away. He grins at me, before blowing a kiss.

I walk back to our seats, cheeks burning. Ahaní wiggles her eyebrows, and Rafaella crosses her arms, glaring at me. I awkwardly sit down in the middle of them as they stare at me with their prodding eyes. "So you guys want some snacks or something?"

--

It all happened so quick.

It was going fine, he had recovered the ball, and was dribbling when all of a sudden..

And the worst part is he's not getting up. Tears pool in my eyes, and it only gets worse when the medics come onto the field.

My heart races, throbbing in my ears. The sight of him crying out in pain causes my heart to drop completely. Someone near me repeatedly moans no, until I realize it's me. I bite my lip as I watch them lift Neymar onto the stretcher, my vision blurring with tears. My hands drop to my side as I watch in disbelief.

I'm in motion almost immediately. Ahaní faintly calls my name, but I barely hear it as I force my way through the shocked crowd. When I finally make it to the railing. The guard immediately rejects my presence, trying to force me back into the stands. I plead with him continuously, practically in hysterics.

He finally seems to understand or recognize me and helps me over the rail. My steps echo in the empty hall as I run to the locker room. Frustration rises when I can barely get by all of the unrecognizable people, mostly photographers.

I stand as close as I can, way before the actually doorway of the dressing room, doctors crowding the room. My arms are wrapped tightly around my torso as I try to calm myself. Everyone of his screams echoes in my ears until I'm practically pulling out my hair. Sliding down to the ground, I pull my knees against my chest, hot tears flowing.

--

"Ali, just come home with us." Rafaella says gently. I shake my head, "I can't. I have to stay with him." I mumble, already drained. "I'm sure he'd be okay with it." Ahaní says sympathetically, hand on my arm. "I can't, okay? I don't think you guys get it." I say angrily, pushing her hand away, "I just can't leave."

--

I sigh, leaning against the wall, we're finally home. It's been a day or so since the match, and we're just getting here. The doctors just left the house, promising to come back tomorrow. He's settled in his bedroom, eyes red and face crestfallen. I hate seeing him like this.

I pull a chair up to his bed, and sit next to him, taking his hand. I don't know what to say-there's nothing to say. This was his ultimate dream, to play for our country in the World Cup. And one move by one selfish player ended it all. I suppress the wave of anger that washes over me, and kiss his hand.

He doesn't respond, eyes elsewhere, completely frozen. I hold in a sigh, and walk around the bed, climbing in on the other side. "What are you doing?" He asks quietly. "Staying."