grumpy statements and sarcastic thoughts

Lifes real thoughts

" dashing through the snow ....... GET THE F**** OUT OF THE WAY

Taylor Swift: we r never ever ever getting back together

response: GOOD

journey: "don't stop believing".....

response: I never started

one direction: "story of my life...."

response: SHUT THE HELL UP

?: what happens after u die?

answer: everything just none of it involves you

You have those dates at the movies in total darkness and dates u wish were in darkness

imagination: mom: "have a great day at school honey I love u:-) :-) "

reality: " mom I m going to school.." "I don't care get the f*** out of my house"

#f**** u #'s

PETS

cat: (points at dog) do u want me to get this fang out of here

dog:(wearing glasses) I did the math we can't afford the cat

That award moment when u think someone is talking to u or asking u a ? and u answer then realize they weren't talking to u

child: "mommy look what I learned at school today"

mommy:" does it look like I give a crap?"

sister: ahhh mommmmmm Henry took my dolly"

henry: " no the dog put it through the garbage disposal"

teacher: " so let me guess the dog ate your homework"

kid:" no I didn't f**king do it"

daughter:" dad my boyfriend  couldn't come meet u because he had to talk to his paroll officer"

dad:...............( vein pops out of his fat stupid head)

teacher:" u need to raise your hand before talking"

student:" you need a life"

Have you ever been on the highway and felt the need to hold up a sign or make faces to the cars around you, and act like you were just kidnapped? Cuz the reactions are very interesting

So I went to Disney and felt really weird and so I turned around and realized I was being followed by a giant mouse and I was like. ......

Taylor swift: cuz darling im a nightmare dressed like a day dream...

Response: you got the nightmare part right