her

chapter one

friday night - 8:00P.M. CT
grand oaks apartments in savannah, ga

emerald r. roosevelt
i poured maurice and i a cup of tea and sat down at the island that was centered on my kitchen floor. i handed his cup to him before resting my elbows against my granite countertop, patiently waiting for him to speak.

"this is good," he complimented. i smiled before nodding and sipping a little of mine.

"i appreciate it," i responded after swallowing the hot sweet tea. i placed my tea mug on the counter and rubbed my hands together a little.

i watched impatiently at the man i used to call my father as he sipped his tea and rubbed my hands on my thighs.

this was the third time coming over my house this week and i was still oblivious as to how he found my house. the thought of how he done it really irked my nerves but i held my tongue out of respect for him.

after five more minutes of sitting in complete silence, i cleared my throat before speaking. "do you want to, maybe, talk about why you're here?"

he sighed while nodding his head before examining my face.

i stared back at him and wondered what i'd done to receive the honor of getting these surprise visits from him after all these years of no communication once-so
ever.

"yes, i- um," he stuttered a little before rubbing his beard and looking down in shame.

"you what?" i asked growing impatient. he looked back up at me with a slight smile before speaking again.

"i wanted to apologize for everything," he said. i nodded, taking in his words. as much and as long as i'd wanted to hear them, they didn't really help the empty pit i felt in the middle of my chest almost every day.

i was traumatized by hurt and i'd closed myself off from damn near everybody i knew in order to avoid being broken down even more.

"my goal was never to make you feel alone, or to put you in a position to where you had to strip in order to maintain a stable life," he continued. the words flowed from his mouth sympathetically, but i sensed his apology was fake.

"i just wanted to teach you responsibility despite everything else you were doing," he added. i frowned before catching myself & nodding again. my mind began wandering and many realizations were brought forth.

i took a deep breath and sipped a little more of my tea as i took in his apology.

a look of curiosity and confusion fell upon my face and before i could catch myself-

"what was i doing exactly that made you want to kick me out of the house and leave me by myself on the streets of harlem?" i felt my body temperature rising and my heart rate was accelerating. i was getting agitated.

no, no, agitated wasn't the word. i'm thinking more of an angry or aggravated even, all i know is i damn near shattered my glass just from the grip i had on it.

"all the drinking and partying and smoking, you know i tried to get you to stop and you never did-"

"so the only solution was to kick me out of the house? maurice, i was sick! traumatized! i had to witness my mother being killed and not even 2 months later, i'm out on my ass?" i shouted at him. i'd let myself get worked up so i took another deep breath to calm myself before saying anything else.