Sparks of Light || Chandler Bing

VI ~ The One With The Boobies

"Okaaay, rock, hard place, me." Chandler gestures with his hand, explaining his situation.

"You're so funny! He's really funny! I wouldn't wanna be there when when the laughter stops." Roger tells him.

"Whoah whoah, back up there, Sparky. What'd you mean by that?" He asks about the previous line.

"Oh, just seems as though that maybe you have intimacy issues. Y'know, that you use your humour as a way of keeping people at a distance." Roger explains, making everyone uncomfortable.

Joey enters the coffee house with his dad, lightening the mood a bit.

"Hey you guys. Hey, you all know my dad, right?" Joey asks him gesturing to the older man.

"Hey"

"Hi Mr. Tribbiani"

Joeys dad looks around at all of them. He sees Roger. "I don't know this one." He points at the man.

"Oh, this is my friend Roger." Phoebe introduces her new partners.

"Hey, hey. Good to meet you, Roger." Mr. Tribbiani greets him. "What happened to the, uh, puppet guy?" He whispers to phoebe, still loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Dad, dad." Joey shakes his head at his fathers comment.

"Oh, 'scuse me. So Ross, uh, how's the wife?" The oldest man tries to make conversation but ends with Ross laying his head on Chandler's shoulder. "Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny!" He still tries to lighten the mood.

Chandler doesn't move, staying stone faced.

~~~

Everyone is at Monica and Rachel's apartment, while Joey tells them about his fathers love affair.

"It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A." He considers it for a second. "That'd be cool.... This blows!"

"I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents?" Audrey says and walks over near where Chandler is. He is obviously staring at her chest. She realises Chandlers staring. "Can't you stop staring at my breasts?"

Without looking up Chandler asks "What?" He then is released from his trance and looks up to her face. "What?" He repeats.

"Did you not get a good enough look the other day?" Audrey asks angry at Chandler.

Ross tries to ease the tension between the two. "Alright, alright. We're all adults here, there's only one way to resolve this. Since you saw her boobies, I think, uh, you're gonna have to show her your peepee."

"Y'know, I don't see that happening?" Chandler tells everyone.

"C'mon, he's right. Tit for tat." Audrey tries to convince him.

"Well I'm not showing you my 'tat." Chandler was not changing his mind.

The door buzzer goes and Monica answers it. "Hello?"

Over the intercom a woman answers "It's Phoebe."

"And Rog." Another person adds.

"C'mon up." Monica tells them.

Sarcastically Chandler says "Oh, good. Rog is here."

"What's the matter with Rog?" Joey asks him.

"Oh, it's nothing, it's a little thing... I hate that guy." He tells the group.

"What, so he was a little analytical. That's what he does, y'know? C'mon, he's not that bad."

~~~