Anthology

I am "Poem"

I am an idealist and a phony.

I wonder why I'm still well and breathing,

I hear Death murmuring sweet nothings in my ear.

I see the Doors of Death but out of my reach,

I want to let go all the restraint and hindrance in my life.

I am an idealist and a phony.

I pretend to be someone I'm not,

I feel the soft humming of Death himself beside me, 

I touch the glowing ember in my small, cold hands.

I worry that the small fire lighting up my path and keeping me warm will disappear in a blink of an eye.

I cry myself to sleep due to the pent up frustration and guilt residing in me.

I am an idealist and a phony.

I understand that some things aren't meant to be,

I say "Dream or Reality, I became indifferent, but also more desperate" and " even when I fall and hurt myself I keep running towards my dream".

I dream for contentment and happiness,

I try to break free from he chains that I've made to slowly and painfully break me apart, killing,  suffocating me.

I hope to find my purpose, my haven, my euphoria.

I am an idealist and a phony.

- MiniSmolChild (03/13/19)

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Note: English is not my first language