Dear Jacob,
I don't really know how to say this or where to begin, but let me start off by saying that I know nothing could ever blossom between us. I am almost positive that you will never see or even know about this letter. We have not known each other for a long time, about a year and a half at most. But I do know this; I have feelings for you. Whether they be of addiction or of actual love, I know not. What I do know for certain is that you are kind, beautiful and one of the most fantastic people I have ever known. You are precious to me and I couldn't bear to see you hurt. I'd just about lose my mind.
Maybe after college, we'll drift apart, talk less, and maybe never see each other again. But I need to get this off my chest. You are so surreal that every moment I spend with you makes me wonder if I'm dreaming. Maybe I'm in some fantasy land living out my wildest dreams. Maybe I'm daydreaming of things I long for, but that could never be. Maybe, just maybe, I'm not dreaming at all and this is all real. I don't know what it what anymore, when I'm around you I just lose my train of thought.
I know that you do not feel the same. I mean how could someone like you fall for someone like me? It's not unheard of, sure, but I know better than to go on thinking that way. Maybe I'll find someone else to pine over and love, and maybe this is all just in my head. I've never been in a relationship and I wouldn't know the first thing about being with a woman. So perhaps this is just my heart testing my abilities, seeing how I could perform when I'm head over heels for someone. If that's the case, then I'm glad it was you who first made me feel this way.
When i am around you i have butterflies in my stomach and i feel queasy. I don't know if that's what having a crush on someone feels like but it is and i do love you. Why am i writing this to you when i know you will never even read it. I feel like even if i were to give you this letter you wouldn't even open it you would probably burn it. You probably would never ever want to date me. You have a beautiful girlfriend. Why would you dump someone as amazing as her for me? I am loving you even though you have everything you want in a girl. I am still going to love you even though you will never get it. I feel great talking about these feelings and these feelings are real not fake. I know you and I haven't had much time to really connect and get to know each other. I love you Jacob.
-Secret Admirer
