Somebody to Love - A Joe Mazzello FanFiction

Chapter 55 - The Fight Part 1

"I was just trying to lighten the mood a little," I replied. Wringing my hands together and looking down at the floor.

"By asking- hey, look at me,- by asking me to dance in front of my dad?" I looked up at him like he said. He was only getting angrier and I didn't want to poke the bear. "Someone who can barely even walk anymore? Someone who used to be a dancer?" He was getting louder and louder.

"I was just trying to have a little fun. I never meant to do anything-" He cut me off.

"You were just trying to do what? Have fun? Do you think we're here to have fun?" he yelled. It wasn't deafeningly loud, but it was louder than normal.

"No, of course I don't think that," I answered.

"Then what huh? You just think we came out here to do lovey-dovey stuff while my dad is dying?" He was slowly getting closer to me. His arms gesturing wildly as he yelled.

"You know that's not what I think," I was trying to hold it together as best as I could. Deep down, I knew he didn't mean what he was saying, but I couldn't help but be hurt by his words.

"The whole time we've been here, you've done nothing but joke around. Is this a joke to you?" I just shook my head. Knowing that I wouldn't get a word in at this point. "And then you also try to have sex with me while we're here? Do you even care at all about what's happening around you?" he yelled.

"That's not fair," I said. My voice cracking from the tears welling up in my eyes.

"Not fair? Not FAIR? You know what's not fair? The fact that there is a man in a room downstairs who isn't going to live much longer. Someone who has done nothing wrong in his life is going to die a slow and painful death. THAT'S not fair. Don't TALK to me about what isn't fair." Tears began falling down my face now. I took in some deep breaths trying to hold it together. Stealthily wiping them away from my face.

"I'm just trying to help." I croaked out.

"Well, stop trying," he stabbed. "It's not helping anyone. ESPECIALLY him." He turned back toward the door. He stuck his hand out and grabbed the knob before turning back toward me to get in one final blow. "God, you can be such a fucking moron sometimes." He opened the door and left the room.

His words hit me like a bullet. Going straight through my heart. I felt so much pain in my chest all of a sudden. I collapsed to the ground slowly. Laying my head on the bed and leaning my body against the frame. I clutched my hand to my chest as I let my silent sobs take over my body. Convulsing and shaking with every breath. My face became puffy and red. Small screams coming from my mouth. Just quiet enough to not be heard by anyone passing by. I sat there for too long. Just crying. Alone. Completely hurt and broken. I kept telling myself that he didn't mean it. That nothing he said had any weight. But it did. At that moment, it felt like everything he said was real. And he wasn't in here calming me. Telling me he was sorry. Because he wasn't. And I knew I needed to get away. Get out of this house for a while.

I got up from the ground and went into the bathroom. I was in there for 10 minutes. Just splashing cold water on my face and waiting for the puffiness to go down. Once I looked presentable, I went back into the bedroom. Grabbing my purse, wallet, and phone from the side of my bed. I didn't know how long I was going to be gone, but I just couldn't be in this house anymore.

When I finally emerged from the bedroom, I walked down the stairs slowly. Letting Joe see me as I came to the living room. I wanted him to see that he couldn't hurt me. Even though I had just spent the last however many minutes sobbing on the floor. But he didn't need to know that. I made a B-line for Joe's dad. I kneeled down in front of him and placed my hand on top of his.

"I'm gonna go out for a while. I'll see you when I come back." I got up and kissed him on the cheek. I looked over at the clock. 10 AM. 10 AM and I had already cried my eyes out. That must have been a new personal record. I stared over at Joe who wouldn't look at me. He was sat with his arms folded, staring at the TV with a permanent angry look on his face. Like he was ready to punch the next stranger who crossed his path. "Bye," I said to anyone who was listening. I guess it was mainly to Virginia since Joe didn't really seem to care.

I grabbed my jean jacket and left the house. Thankfully, it was a beautiful April spring day outside. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. But my mood didn't match the weather. For once in my life, I wanted it to be gloomy and dull. I walked to the café, knowing that Michelle would listen to me.

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"He called you a fucking moron?" She asked, completely shocked and invested in my story. She had brought me to the back of the store into the kitchen area. She had a small table and some chairs by the back door where she would sit and do whatever when the shop was empty. It started to become routine that I would be back here with her. To say we had become fast friends was an understatement.

"Yeah, he did," I replied, looking down at the glass of water in my hands. Tapping my fingers on the edges.

"Well, I'm sure he didn't mean it," she replied.

"Even if he didn't, he said it. That's what matters. He meant it enough to let it out." I looked up at her now.

"What are you gonna do?" she asked. Taking a sip of her hot tea. I shrugged.

"I don't know yet. I just need some time to think. I needed to get out of the house." I bit my lip at the thought of going back there. I couldn't yet. Even though talking with Michelle was like a free therapy session, it wasn't enough. I still wasn't ready.

"Well, even though I love talking to you, you can't stay here all day. I get nothing done when you're here," she replied in a light tone of voice. I chuckled at her joke. She snapped her fingers and pointed at me. "You should go downtown." I raised an eyebrow at her.

"What?" I asked.

"Go downtown. Go see some sights. Maybe visit a museum. I don't know, it's just something to do. Something to get your mind off what's happening." I nodded, thinking about it. We were only about a 30-minute train ride from Times Square. And the entire time I had been here, I hadn't gone into the city.

"Maybe I will," I answered. I grabbed my phone to look at the time.

"Oh, and you probably want to turn that off," she said.

"You think so?" I asked.

"Yeah. Just in case you have an inkling to call and apologize to make things better. You don't need to apologize. Am I clear?" she asked. I nodded. "Good. So, if you turn off your phone, it will give you a couple of seconds to think about why you're turning it back on. Maybe you'll stop whatever you were going to do. It might help you in the long run." I had thought about turning off my phone, but now I was convinced.

"Ok," I responded. "Thanks."

"No problem," she said.

"I guess I'm off to the city," I gave her a sheepish smile. Racking my brain of all the things I could do once I was down there. And for the first time in a month, I had put my own happiness and fun over someone else.