Adopt me, you son of a b*tch! (Dadvid)

Chapter 1 Hunger Games, Family Edition.

Author: So I decided to write this simply because I was getting annoyed at all the unfinished fanfictions on the site. So unlike them, If your reading this, then I've already finished it and I've decided it to post it piece by piece. If you're reading this super early, the next part will be out tomorrow, and I hope you enjoy it! Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to casually throw shade at half the platform as I shove my hard-working, finished story right up there.....anyway, hope you enjoy.

    Max had his usual apathetic look on his face as he read through the letter from social services. It was mail time at camp Campbell, so the whole room was filled with the regular cast of characters opening mail from there beloved friends and family, of which Max had none.

    Space kid opened his box and found a challenger rockets ship sent from his surprisingly famous uncle, Nerf somehow managed to get even more knives, and Nikki got a pretty pink dress from her mother who had no idea what kind of hellion Nikki truly was.

    "Cool, fancy toilet paper!" She said as she quickly ripped the beautiful dress into swathes for later use. Harrison pulled open his box with slight hesitation and frowned when he stared at the contents.

    "Uhh....thanks...." He pulled out a cross and a book about exorcisms not really sure what to do with them. Nerris pulled out a new packet of glue for her fake ears and readily applied it. Not everyone got mail, mostly because only weirdos send letters in twenty nineteen. 

    Max's parents had been arrested just after he was sent away to camp because of how much they abused Max. All it took was for one doctor to ask all the right questions, and suddenly his parents were in jail only hours after he went to camp. The social worker in charge of his case decided to leave Max in the care of the camp until the end because it was already paid for, and it saves money on foster care.

   Max had other plans though. Since Camp Corpse came around and tried to take control, he wised up to something he never thought about before. He wanted to live with David. He was annoying, he was a pain in the ass, his optimism made him the bane of Max's existence, but he was pretty sure he was the only adult in his life even remotely worth a damn. His disgustingly annoying optimism and pushover nature made him a perfect mark! David was going to adopt him, whether he wanted to or not!

   David frowned at Max's death glare. The boy looks extremely creepy just staring at him for the past five minutes with burning determination. He wondered if the boy had finally figured that super murder plot he found him writing about a few days ago. The thought of it made him gulp.

   "Well....gooooood morning campers!" He said happily as he looked over his activities clipboard. The collective groan from everyone signified their acknowledgment of David's existence. He looked down the list and finally came across the day's activity and smiled happily at the result. "We'll be doing something very special today called......family......Camp?" He said confused as to what type of camp that was exactly.

   "What's that?" Nikki asked. "Is that like Christmas camp?!" She yelled.

   "Oh god, our parents aren't visiting again are they?" Neil asked with genuine fear in his eyes. He still can't look his father in the eyes ever since.....that day.

   "Well no....." David said as he tried to figure out today's activity. He didn't plan on the parents visiting today.

   "Lets just put on a family movie or something and call it a day," Gwen said as she popped an uncomfortable number of anti-anxiety drugs. She always took them when she knew she was probably gonna get a day off.

   They had wonderful side effects on her libido. They made her so horny she once tried to fuck a fish. That was a really good date, disappointing ending though. At least she had her super fucking filthy fanfiction.