Broken Pieces

Simula

Simula

Huminga ako ng malalim habang pinagmamasdan ang pag hampas ng alon. Kaylan ba ako makakauwi sa amin? Natigil lang ang aking pag muni-muni ng may na rinig akong kalampag.

I walked towards that sound and found the man behind my heartbreak. He was lying helplessly on the floor as different bottle of beers surround him. He was muttering something inaudible for me to understand. I crouch a little for me to hear what he was saying.

Habang pinagmamasdan ko siya, may kung anong sakit ang namumuo sa aking dibdib. I'm only fooling myself if I say I don't love him anymore. Pero anong magagawa ko? Wala na. Yes, I love him but that doesn't mean mag papakamartyr ako sa paghahabol sa kanya. I know myself worth.

"Hey wake up!" Inalog alog ko pa siya ng mahina para siya ay magising. But I only got a groan. When I was just about to stand up and leave he held my wrist tightly.

He opens his eyes and look straight at me. There is an unfamiliar longing in his eyes while I also stare at him.

"I won't let you go until I got my revenge."

He let go of my hand as I stood up. Not wanting to hear any of his hurtful words, I just walk away and went straight to my room. There I cried silently as I held my mouth, not letting any of my sobs be heard.

I still can't think how he believed that person's lies. I trust him pero hindi pala sya ganon sa akin. I rub the necklace that I was wearing to comfort me. This sentimental necklace always has an aura that only I can understand. An aura that is like a child comforting his mother.

I look at the window and saw the moon shining brightly. Ilang araw na ba akong nandito? He abducted me and now were here, in an island only God knows where this place is.

"Ano ba nangyari sa inyo?" ayan ang kadalasan na tanong sa akin ng mga taong malalapit sa aking buhay. To be honest, hindi ko din alam. One day, he just stop talking to me, like I was just a wind to him. I didn't understand, everytime I see him lagi siyang pinalilibutan ng iba't ibang babae at harap-harapan hahalikan habang ako ay nakatingin sa kanya.

Then it got to me, why should I chase someone who clearly doesn't want me anymore? Umalis ako ng bansa para hanapin ang aking sarili. There, I found out the greatest gift that was given to me but was also quickly taken away from me. I was devastated, I was diagnosed with depression and even attempted to kill myself multiple times. But I realize killing myself won't solve any of my problems.

Day by day I got better. As year pass by I decided to go home, tapos ito lang pala ang mangyayri sakin. Do i deserve any of this? I let out a heavy sigh and wipe my tears away.

Just keep on hurting me until you are satisfied. Sanay naman na din ako na lagi mong sinasaktan. You always get pleasure whenever you see me hurting not realizing that I got used to it.

"Why should I fight a battle na ako lang ang lumalaban? I give up." I whisper as I felt myself drifting away to sleep.

© dwaymie