Pain. Heartbreak. Betrayal. Lies. Broken trust. Broken mind. What image do those words put into your mind? I don't know about you but I picture myself. All those countless nights in my room with my door closed, tears pouring down my face and my hand on my mouth to prevent any sound to escape. Bloody shoulders and wrists ends up being the only path I know. Does this give you a bad impression of me? Well okay.
I paint my mask on every morning before anyone sees the broken mess I am and all of a sudden, I'm fine. I reply to all my messages, wish everyone a good morning, talk with my friends, laugh out loud at silly jokes, do my work and pretend I'm genuinely happy....and I believe it for a while.
But reality hits me when I enter my room once more. I see flashbacks of the previous night and I collapse on to my bed and a chill goes down my spine. Have I mastered my mask to such a fine art, that no one realises I'm wearing one..? My mind wanders once again to places that don't make sense and the whole thing repeats itself. Every. Single. Day. Such a vicious cycle...
It gets really exhausting and you are baffled by how long you've survived. Two nights turn into two weeks, and two weeks turn into two years. When is it going to end? Is life even worth it? Do we actually have a purpose here?? What's the whole point if you're just going to die???...Why not get a head start...?
But maybe I'm not the only one💔
