Today and Everyday ~Claudio Marchisio~

Chapter Four

"So you just hung up after he called you back?" Laura says as she places Oscar in the little crib.

"Yes," I throw my hands in the air and then bring them back down to massage my temples.

"Why? You had him Lotte, he even recognized your voice! He recognized you!" Laura sits in front of me and looks me dead in the eye.

"I just couldn't Lau! How was I supposed to bring it up?" I shrug, "Oh hey there Claudio, glad you're playing football again, by the way did you know we have a son together?"

"What's really holding you back?" She continues her stare, acting as if she was trying to steal my soul.

"I-I-I don't know," I admit, frustration with myself rising in my blood, "I'm just scared."

Laura doesn't respond, leading me to believe that she's not entirely happy with my answer, urging me to continue talking, "I'm scared of the Claudio I saw in those last months, I don't want that Claudio in front of Oscar."

"Babe, take the risk, or forever regret not doing so." She replies as she stands up to start cooking dinner.

I fall through the door and immediately sink against it. My wet eyes soak my dry skin, almost causing it to wrinkle. I scan the living room, searching for Laura, making sure she doesn't see me curling up against the front door. A creak comes from the hallway and I immediately rise from my ball to greet Laura with a smile.

I wipe my eyes swiftly, "Hey, where's Oscar?"

She takes a step towards me, looking at me curiously, "He's in your bedroom, sleeping. Lotte what's wrong? You're a little late." She says, checking her watch.

I let out a fake laugh, "Well, um, I stopped by the college office to, um," I can't finish my statements before a lump forms in my throat.

"Hey, come on, tell me what's up." Laura insists, guiding me to the couch.

I give in and endless waves of tears run from my eyes, "I stopped by the office to drop out. I quit, Lau. I just can't give my best to both at the same time."

I hear no response, just a pair of arms comforting me. Laura rubs my back soothingly, she knows I want the silence, she knows there is nothing she could say to lift me. College means so much to me, and to have that taken away just makes it that much worse. It's not like I was completely oblivious to the sacrifice I needed to be prepared to make, it's just now it's not a thought, it's not just a distant future anymore, it happened.

After about an hour of sulking, Laura brings me a cup of vanilla, caramel tea, my favorite hot drink.

"A cup of vanilla caramel tea probably won't motivate you to talk about what your plans are but I thought I might try it." Laura jokes, thumping back on the soft, leather couch.

I take a sip of the scorching drink, but the boiling heat of the tea warms up my numb body. I respond slowly, still sounding like a dying whale, but I talk in a voice I hope she understands, "After two months, I realized that doing this on my own was too much. I knew you were there, but I knew I couldn't keep depending on you like that."

Laura nods understandingly, pushing me on. I exhale loudly and continue, "So last month, I applied for a job in Torino,"

Her eyes widen immensely, and she opens her mouth to speak, but I immediately cut her off and shake my head, "Oscar needs Claudio, Lau." I sigh, "I need him. I need to try."

She takes a minute to reply, but as she comprehends my intentions, she says, "And where did you apply to in Torino?" Laura asks.

"Abercrombie." I laugh at the irony, seeing as though I made a promise in my teens that I would never work there over my dead body, "They pay well and the work hours are not that excessive."