90 days to live

90 days to live - Chapter 18

I squint in disbelief. This can't be the same Kyle who was earlier professing his 'love' for me.

"If I only thought of Jared then am I not with him now? I don't speak of Nathan as a stranger, he's been a friend to me." I choke out. "I don't want to think of the worst situation before we've even established what has happened because I'm been through this before."

"No you haven't Lara." Kyle says derisively, shaking his head. His jeering scoffs finally cause my tolerance to reach its limit.

"I've been through this exact situation Kyle." I say through gritted teeth. Kyle raises his eyebrows scornfully. "My sister was murdered when I was 17."

Kyle's whole resolve begins to crumble as I stride past him. The previous time I recounted the incident involving my sister to Jared and Carlisle, I hazed. That was a mere few months ago. I feel mournful and incomplete somehow but then I also feel as if I can handle it; as if I'm no longer going to haze at the most meagre events. It is as if my Caritas self has lessened its control over my body.

"I'm sorry." Kyle says, grabbing onto my arm. He looks guilty but then his words contained so much raw venom. No matter how furious or hurt he was, there's no way those feelings could have been brewed on the spot. Clearly, there were underlying emotions.

"Okay."

"I mean it Lara - I didn't mean what I said. I'm just-"

"Terrified? Beating yourself up because you should have been there? Useless? Sad for the loss of the qualities that your sister brought to your life?" I shrug, swallowing the omnipresent lump in my throat.

"I guess you do know how it feels then." Kyle whispers.

"Nobody understands more than I do." I reply. Our voices have suddenly become soft and docile as all the rage from our argument dissipates, scratching away the surface to reveal the bare layer of vulnerability.

"How did it happen?"

"Torpens."

"And you still managed to bond with Jared?" Kyle asks. I nod my head slowly. He exhales heavily. "It seems my initial interpretation of you was wrong - you're more remarkable than I originally anticipated."

"Or more stupid." I counter. "Foolish enough to fall for a Torpen despite the circumstances and the past."

"Love is never stupid Lara." Kyle says.

I nod my head and begin to walk off down the hall again. Kyle pursues me, until he's closes enough to curl his fingers around mine and pull me into his side. He breathes softly on my hair as I grip tightly to his back.

"I still need to move on Lara." He says, his lips in my hair.

"I know."

We walk the rest of the way to the infirmary in silence. When we're arrive, we're greeted by Medic two (or John) who shows us to his office, where he's treated Iron. The white Medic's coat over John's suit symbolises his position and role. Its already sealed so we cannot see in. Before we enter, I peer to my right to see Zena's office is also sealed up. I'll have to visit later.

"Warrior Knoxx has few injuries but we had to sedate him upon his arrival; he kept insisting that he had to go back.The trauma or separation from Alarena may have caused this irrational behaviour." The Medic says.

I sigh with relief at the sight of Ally on the right hand side of the office and Iron on the left. They're both asleep on Medic beds with tubes, oxygen masks and drips surrounding them like a tangled mess of vines in a jungle.

"John where are the other members of the mission?" Kyle asks urgently. The Medic sighs and places a hand on Kyle's shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Warrior Hicks. The others have not returned and judging from the state of Alarena and Iron, I can only imagine that they stayed behind to fight while Iron brought Alarena back here. I'm afraid their statistics of survival are highly unlikely."