"Louis, is Zoe now... again. Please open the door, it's been an hour." So it's been an hour, not half. And still nothing.
Louis moves from the first time since he sat on his bed, his bedroom still like he left before leaving. Blinds shut leaving the place in the darkness, some clothes above his chair – and not all of them are his –, a towel on the floor and the ambient still smelling like Harry.
He walks to his desk, legs aching and he notices that he's shaking his hands when grabs his phone in hope that one of those twenty calls are from the person he needs to listen.
They're all from his mother, when she tried to call in the morning and from his sister when she tried to call this last hour.
"Louis, it's going to be okay I promise." How dare her to say that? Louis thinks. That's just the words he can't stand right now, the words he fears to turn out to be a lie and a broken promise. "Just open it. Mom is worried and Peter is crying and we don't even know why."
Louis sighs but it comes out broken as if he had been crying. He opens his mouth but shuts it again. What is he doing? Harry is probably on the other side of the street being brave and strong, dealing with bigger problems right now and he's locked in his room in silence and just praying for the best as if it'd help. It won't.
He goes towards the door, unlocks it and then opens it to be faced with his worried sister. She looks at him a bit in shock, not expecting him to open the door after all this time. Louis stares at her for a moment, just really a short moment till he breaks down.
He has been in shock, emotionless untill now but maybe is the fact that the hall isn't all dark, maybe because he sees his sister, maybe because he makes some move... something changes and he sees himself walking towards her shouting and crying, letting out everything off of his chest.
"I don't wanna lose him," and it didn't even happen but Louis realised that Harry is not the only one fearing his parents. Louis fears them too because he just can't picturing them patting Harry's back and smile after knowing their son is gay and went on vacations with his best friend, the person he was kissing in that car.
Zoe opens his arms of course and lets him sink in them, he's sobbing and he's breathing so heavily that is scary.
"What are they doing to him? To my Harry. I want him here. It's my fault. I don't want them to take him away from me." He speaks fast between cries, it's almost impossible to understand. His body is shaking and she doesn't know what to do to her brother.
"Mom!" She shouts from the hallway in panic because she knows Louis is not the type of person to do this, he doesn't usually break down for nothing, let alone the fact crying in front of her, but he almost seems that he's having a panic attack.
"Make it stop. He needs to be happy. It's my fault. I want him here. What are they doing to him? Harry. Why?" He cries and Zoe can only feel the wet and hot tears on her shoulder and feeling his body giving up.
Her mother comes running to the hall and sees them, Louis grabbing her sister and crying so hard, she literally sees his body trembling from crying and from the nerves. He keeps crying out things difficult to understand and Zoe's expression is from panic because she feels every bone of his brother's body shaking and feels his heart beat on his chest.
"Sweetheart look at me." Fiona tries to make him look up at her but he keeps hiding his face on his sister's shoulder, breathless, shouting and it's all mixed with his tears. She literally thinks that he can't breathe there and it's just mere seconds till his body gives up completely. "Louis you need to breathe, please honey, please look up at me."
"But Harry," she understands these words but what comes next is just gasps.
Zoe tries to pull away and in that moment Fiona grabs him from his shoulders and makes him rest his back against the wall. Peter is right at the end of the hall watching the scene, still crying from previously. It all seems a movie scene but right now it's all real for Louis and it's fucking terrific.
29 - Accept yourself
Start from the beginning
