There was a time when i was once always helping and happy for every one. Ever since i started to try to change life has became more difficult. Ive even tried to to stay with helping thers and others and showing tht im happy but really im not. I try to make everyone happy so tht i can see them smile so atleast that i know i did a good thing but it doesnt work. People say you shouldn't change. I had to change because i used to be antisocial before i was even helping anyone. I also used to be a person that didnt care if anyone was getting hurt by anyone. Now I changed and it doesn't seem any different because i feel like im hurting others by the way i help everyone. When i help, i help everyone that needs help or atleast i try to. However when i do it doesnt work out because they either dont like how i helped them or that i helped them because they didnt want my help even though i thought they did. So now when i do help i always dought myself when i do because i dont think im able to even do what they asked me to do. Also it even goes with my relationships ive been in over 40 relationships but they've never worked out. Ive always spoiled the person im with. However they they always brake up with me to go out with someone else. Indont understand why but ive always been told things happens for reasons. Ive also been told if you love someone to let them go if they come back it was ment to be but if they dont it never was. However to this day i am still doing my best to be me and letting people i love go beacause of the saying. Also little by little i am changing and feeling less but thats wut happens in life.
