Fidelity

23

"Ah, okay." Umiwas ako ng tingin kahit na naghuhuramentado na talaga an sistema ko. This. This is the effect he has on me.

Binuksan ko ang pinto pero bago pa ako makababa ay naramdaman ko agad ang kamay niya sa braso ko.

"Renee," he uttered.

Shit. Ito na naman iyong pangalan ko sa labi niya. I've been called by my name many times but only him can give it more meaning... more emphasis.

"Yes?" I looked back at him.

"Mahal mo pa naman ako 'di ba?" Bumagsak ang boses niya.

Matagal ko siyang tinitigan. My throat felt dry. I was sure that I do love him, but I wasn't sure if it was right to tell him.

"I just... wanna know that you're still mine," he added. "Kasi mahal na talaga kita."

He was so near, yet still so far.

"I wouldn't be here if I don't," I admitted, telling this with my heart and not with my brain.

The corner of his lips curled up, then he bit his bottom lip to suppress the smile. "Tang ina, kinikilig ako."

I laughed, and did what I've been dying to do. I leaned closer and gave him a peck on his lips.

***

"I'll give him a chance, Hillary," I sighed. I promised her I'll tell her everything from now on kaya naman sinabi ko na iyon sa kan'ya.

My mind is now made up. I still believe that he deserves a second chance.

"Malaki ka na, alam mo na ang tama at mali," she said, but disapproval was still in her face. "But, I just don't like to romanticize broken people. I mean, gets, you want to fix him, but your efforts would be nothing if he doesn't fix himself."

"I won't try to fix him this time," I said defensively. "I'll just try to be here while he's fixing himself. Okay lang if hindi ka pa handa to meet him or to properly know him, but this is a decision I already made. I really appreciate your concern for me, Hill."

"Okay," she shook her head a little. Lumapit ako sa kan'ya at niyakap siya. "Pero kapag nakita ko ulit siya, sasampalin ko ulit 'yon."

Napangisi ako at hinigpitan pa lalo ang pagkakayakap sa kan'ya.

Three days.

It only took me three days para muling buksan ang mga kamay ko para sa kan'ya. It only took him three days of consistent communication, effort, and time.

My God. Since when have I been this marupok? Bakit ba kaunting kalabit niya lang, takbo naman agad ako pabalik sa kan'ya?

"Dito na ang studio niyo?" Tanong ko kay Shed nang tuluyang makababa sa kan'yang sasakyan. Pinasadahan niya ang buhok gamit ang palad at tumango.

"Miguel's house," aniya and offered his hand to me.

Saglit ko iyon tinitigan at kinuha. We walked hand-in-hand towards the porch of Miguel's house. His hand on mine felt so warm, felt like home. Nang binuksan niya ang pinto patungo sa studio, lahat sila ay natigilan at lumingon sa amin, pati na sa kamay naming magkahawak.

"Hi," I said awkwardly.

"Girlfriend ko nga pala," pakilala sa 'kin ni Shed na parang hindi pa nila ako kilalaat inilapit ako lalo sa kan'ya, his musky scent filling my nostrils. My jaw dropped and I looked at him, a stupid smile that I've never seen before was painted on his lips.

"Whoa," unang lumapit si Kurt sa amin at nakipag-high five kay Shed. Ginulo pa nito ang buhok niya.

"Congrats," kumindat sa 'kin si Miguel.

Felix also gave Shed a high five pero hindi kami pinansin ni Oliver, instead, he gave a disapproving look. Napanguso ako. Alam ko namang ayaw niya sa akin, but did he really have to rub it in my face?

"Tayo na?" Pabulong kong tanong kay Shed.

"Hindi pa ba?" He asked, the smile was wiped out from his lips. "When you laid the card on the table and told me you love me, para sa 'kin, girlfriend na kita."

"Okay," I said.

"Okay?" He raised his eyebrows.

Tumango ako muli at niyakap siya.

"Okay, love birds," tugon ni Kurt at pilit kaming pinaghiwalay. "Practice na."

Tumango lang ako kay Shed at umupo sa isang tabi. I love watching them sing like this, raw, unprecedented. I was indeed lucky to have a seat here.

"Listen to this," kinuha ni Shed ang mikropono at tinapik tapik iyon para makita kung gumagana nga ba ito. Then he grabbed a guitar and started strumming a tune.

"May bago kang kanta?" Tanong ni Oliver, na ngayon lang nagsalita.

"Gan'yan talaga kapag inspired," singit ni Miguel.

"Baka expired," pagbibiro ni Kurt sabay halakhak sa sariling joke. Umiling lang si Shed sa kanila and everyone settled down to listen.

Wow, this is gonna be the first time I'll see him sing a song he made for the band. I just appreciate this first phases of life, when everything is still simple and nobody monopolizes and controls this beauty of an art.

Sa dami ng aking naranasan
Tila ba nalimot nang makaramdam
Palagi na lang tinatakasan
ang pait na dulot ng nakaraan

Nakatuon ang buong atensyon niya sa akin, like he was dedicating this masterpiece to me.

Ngunit lahat ay nag-iba nang ika'y makilala na
at bumabalik sa umpisa at puno ng kaba
Puso ko ay umurong bigla
O, nalilito na sa'king nadarama

Kurt went beside him and waved his palm in front his eyes, because his eyes were really fixated on me, like there was nothing else relevant inside this room. Kumunot ang noo ni Shed sa kan'ya, pero bumalik lamang ang tingin niya sa akin.

Hindi ko alam kung pano nangyari
hindi ko mawari ang nilalamang ng puso,
tuwing nakikita ka'y may ligaya,
laging ikaw ang siyang hinahanap
tanging ikaw ang nais makasama rito
saking pagiisa

He closed his eyes and savored the music he was creating. I hope he knows how beautiful it is.

Pilit ko mang pawiin
ako'y isang alipin ng pagsintang hindi magmamaliw

I bit my lip. Miguel, who was standing beside me, elbowed me, at ramdam ko na talaga ang pamumula ng buong mukha ko.

"What?" Natatawa kong tanong.

Ngumisi siya at umiling nang kaunti. "Para kayong high school," he commented.

"I love you, R," Shed finished his song with a strum and my heart was wildly pounding inside my chest.

I feel like I was wearing a crown on my head and holding a trophy in my hand. After everything we've been through, finally.  I can't believe I'm now Shed Marco's girlfriend.  

~*~*~

Sorry for the late update, I'm preparing for a very important exam and mas sumasanib sa akin 'yung isa kong story (huhu sorry but please do check How We Unravel lol shameless plug) so please bear with me. I will try to update this as often as I could. :)

Song: Hindi ko Alam by Room for Cielo