Twats Will Be Twats

Eventually

EVENTUALLY

Finley is leaving and O’Connor can’t make him stay.

1.       if i wake up tomorrow will you still be here?

10:36 PM. ELLIOT’S HOUSE.

O’Connor’s not really sure how he gets himself drunk before ten p.m.—actually he does. Drunk means happy. And happy means forgetting. And forgetting means turning a blind eye to the fucking happy couple practically having sex on the dance floor.

No, O’Connor thinks, no he won’t stay sober for this.

He watches Finley tug Jamie’s hand and drag him to the direction where the drinks are.

O’Connor takes another swig of his beer and goes to find someone to whisper sweet nothings to.

11PM. ELLIOT’S HOUSE.

Cara is brown-eyed and her hair catches on fire every time she tilts her head in the bright hallway lights. Her smile is too blinding and her teeth are too straight.

She looks nothing like a certain green-eyed boy and he feels free for a moment.

11:12PM. ELLIOT’S HOUSE.

But it’s not enough.

People say that O’Connor is a dick sometimes, but really, O’Connor is a dick all the time. He kicks Cara out of the bedroom (which suspiciously looks like Elliot’s, and he knows she kill him once she finds out). She’s all but crumbling once she gets down stairs but he knows he doesn’t have the motivation or effort to go down there to pick up the pieces.

He lies there, trying to do what, he doesn’t know. Maybe to sit in silence for just a little longer.

But all he can hear is his harsh breathing and the loud pounding—from the blasting music or his heart, he’s not sure either.

The ringing in his ears gets too much, and that maybe the noise can drown out all his thoughts.

11:30PM. ELLIOT’S HOUSE.

O’Connor really wants to fucking leave. It’s no secret and Elliot knows it too.

He stops O’Connor before he can even step foot out of the house.

“Mate, what’s up?”

O’Connor shrugs, annoyed. He just wants to leave. He just wants to leave and fall asleep to the pounding of the rain (to the pounding of his heart). He just wants to never wake up again (he doesn’t know why. He doesn’t (want to) know a lot of things by now).

He raises an eyebrow when Elliot doesn’t move. Elliot’s brows cinch with concern and O’Connor’s eyes narrow.

“I really need to leave, mate.”

And he really does. Elliot doesn’t sense his frustration or his breaking heart, but he miraculously steps aside. O’Connor moves to step out the door when Elliot puts a hand against his shoulder. O’Connor flinches.

“Ben, are you—” Elliot falters. It dies out. He glances at O’Connor, and then looks past his shoulder—at who O’Connor’s not sure so he glances back too and finds—oh. Finley is there, talking with Jamie. Looking at Elliot. Looking at O’Connor.

“Never mind,” Elliot sighs, and O’Connor can feel the tension fall out of his bones and out his body. He steps out into the warm night.

His heart clenches and he’s not sure if it’s out of relief or disappointment.