Night Lights

Chapter 1

TRAFFIC

Sometimes, life can feel a lot like busy roads. People around you driving to different places and making their journey to a certain destination, each and every car the same, but also different. Sometimes, life can also feel like traffic. Being stuck in one place for too long  and feeling stuck can make you feel frustrated because you can't keep going the way you usually do. And Sometimes, you speed completely off course and fly off into the stars. Me however, I don't have a car. Or any friends for that matter, but I didn't mind at all. Being able to make decisions without anyone holding you back is awesome. And so is just being you, doing what you want without having to worry what others think. Yep, that's me, my name is Alex and currently i've been stuck in traffic for a very long time. I mean, and VERY long time. More or less, around five years now? Everything has felt the same, with extremly slow progress. Like seriously, even a snail can win this race. I'm a free spirit however, chained to the ground by my surroundings. Sad to say, this happens pretty often, considering I was locked in my room grounded right now because I talked back about staying out too long.
I heard my mom yelling downstairs, a sharp strict tone hollering and a darker and harsh deep voice respond, that'd be my dad. Both were arguing about work, my mom trying to make a point about how we need more money, and on the other side, my dad was yelling about how he works his ass of going from house to house and fixing everyone's walls and paint jobs he's been on, and how people don't want to pay him. It's funny really, he can work magic to fix houses and paint a new coat on walls like a clean slate, but somehow can't manage to keep our house standing. The usual argument, almost everyday, I hear this on and on.
A loud noise came from outside my door, sounds like both of my little brothers were playing video games again. Like I said, the usual. It's always like this, where I get home to an empty house after school, shortly my mom would come home, ask me how my days was, get something to eat from the fridge if there is anything, then my brothers would come home and ignore mostly everything to make a bee line for their computers, then I'd take a shower, and in the meantime, my brother ignored my mom as she gave him another lecture about not bringing his school work home, and then everyone would end up mad for the rest of the night because my brothers are like a chain reaction. It would be quiet before someone got bored and comes to bother me for their entertainment, and then I would get sick of this and go to sleep only to be woken up by more screaming and yelling from any one of the two staying up late and losing his game battle.
Are you still breathing? I hope so. But I learned to save my breath when explaining this to someone around me when they'd ask how my day was going. I see this as a polite way of telling them to shut up and go away, you're only looking for more trouble, and it's not like they'd care much anyways. Somehow I plan to keep it this ay despite being a little harsh, but I watched everyone go down like planes set on fire, due to other people breaking their engines. What I mean, is that almost every person in high school is either looking for sex, drama, drugs, or money. I've only had two close friends who actually wanted a friendship, but come the first day of freshman year, they ran away and never came back. Rumors in high school spread like wildfire, or a virus during winter season. This is why I prefer not to try and know too many people, because they only turn to stab you in the back. True story, a friend of mine almost shot me with a BB gun because he got pissed off thanks to a rumor my ex best friend told. I later found out he liked me, and honestly he wasn't a bad person, but it's hard to say when you're being aimed at the head with a pistol. But that's another adventure.
I felt my stomach growl and then had the pleasure of listening to its impression of a whale, what I totally haven't realized is that I forgot to eat lunch during school hours and I skipped breakfast again. I got up and opened the door a creak, escaping my sacred lair. I noticed my brother sitting by his desk on his computer, black headphones on and music playing loud. His blonde hair looked almost white against the headphones, and clear skin gave a reflection of the screen on his face. I tapped his shoulder.
"Hey Justin, can you move a little? I just need to go downstairs." I said. He ignored me. I tapped again, this time he waved his hand. I then grabbed his headphones and pulled them off, resting them on his shoulders.
"Hey, did you hear me?" I said again.
"Yeah I did." He said, and put the headphones back on, continuing his game. Ya know, sometimes I picture little lights in the computer being some kind of device that hypnotizes people into the screens until one day they become the machine itself. I'll admit, these things can change a person entirely. Don't believe me? Test subject one, example A, my little brother. Pretty sassy for a ten year old.
I shrugged, and crawled over the bed that was in the way of my path to the stairwell. I headed down the stairs, old and creaky with every step, the carpet not exactly helping. I peeked over the edge of the door rim, and saw my dad watching TV, an empty plate with crumbs rested next to him. I looked over, my mom sitting at the table with my other brother, Kevin. Looks like they were working on homework, Kevin looked lost and my mom looked pissed with a hand in her bright blonde hair.
As I tried to sneak by without making a sound, my mom looked up.
"What are you doing?" she asked. I looked back at her, and noticed her sharp intimidating glare.
"Just grabbing a drink." I said putting a hand behind my head, busted.
"Yeah sure. Go do the dishes while you're in there." She hissed, and then hit Kevin on the shoulder.
"Why aren't you focusing?" She yelled again. I simply walked by lucky she didn't throw anything at me. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, crazy right? Nope, this is just everyday life for me. But I'll be honest, I'd take this rather than deal with what she used to do back when I was smaller.
Every since my brothers came into the world, it's like I became an outlaw in my family. All attention went straight toward my brothers, including the money, and new things, education, and just in general, everything. I didn't expect a lot of things from my parents, maybe a hug every now and then but that's about it. All days aren't like this though, we have fun when we can and end up loving each other anyways, however sometimes it feels like there isn't much I or anyone can do to fix this anger between us all. Maybe I came out wrong to them or something that everyone comes to take it out on me. However, in my eyes, I came out just right.
See, after doing daily chores and going to bed, I've planned an amazing system where everything is planned perfectly, for me to sneak out and run to what I call "The Big Hill", or basically the side of a bridge where I sit and watch the stars every night. Next to me there's the old railroad, and not many lights, so you can see all of the stars when it's dark out, even the Milky Way on some nights. So I don't really care what goes on at home, because the nights always make up for it.
    I grabbed myself some water, and then began rinsing the few dishes in the sink and placing them into the dishwasher. Not that bad really, in a solid ten minutes I was finished. I then headed through the living room, and waved to my dad, who was half asleep on the couch. He gave a smile and waved back. Then I went into the bathroom and took a hot shower.

I layed in bed now, finally the house silent, and quiet as it usually is after 10:00pm. I looked at my phone, dry as usual with no messeges, not even a game notification. I put it back down and sighed. See, I was trying to avoid a certain thought. I twisted and turned, read a book and scrolled through social media. I drew and played guitar for a moment, but no matter what, I couldn't get myself to sleep. I wanted to run out, however I've gone out all week and I know I'd be tired the next day at school. I focused on the darkness outside the window, a few cars and street lights illumination the road in the distance. The longer I watched, the greater the urge to go outside grew. I sat still and debated. Yeah no like hell, the answer was yes, so I leaped out of bed and threw on my clothes.
    Fixing my leggings, I pulled out my medium, dark brown hair from a ponytail, and threw the scrunchy onto my desk, adjusting my military green short sleeved shirt with yellow letters that said California, and I grabbed my black school spirit hoodie, that read 2020 in big yellow lettering and a little horse mascot next to the numbers. Then, I snatched my phone into the middle pocket, and headed downstairs. Sneaking down the stairs, I had to act stealthy since they creaked like miniature frogs living under the wood. I slithered my way around each and every creaky floor board toward the door, past my parent's room on the left side. Grabbing my shoes, I turned around, coast clear. Heading out, I quietly opened the knob of the door, and then ever so slightly closed it behind me, with a light click. I sighed in relief, and turned around to step down the wooden, blue painted steps of the front porch.
Looking at the stars, I saw my first and favorite constellation, Orien and his dog, Canis major. I can definitely admit that I love the stars, I understand every constellation and where to find them in different seasons. I sometimes feel like they can guide me or lead me into my future.
    I remember back when I was younger, I read a quote from a book, and it said "All the souls that have passed rest up there, together in the night sky, guiding each person on their road of destiny." Being young and naive I believed it, and strangely even up to this day. Maybe people really do rest up there. I stared for a while daydreaming, before shaking my head and got back on track.