Darker Shadows (A Harry Potter Fan Fiction)

Chapter 32- Living Death (Ava)

A face loomed over me and I had to clamp my hand over my mouth to oppress the scream that rose from within.

“Ava, don’t panic, please don’t panic. You’re not dead, you’re not dead. Neither am I alive.”

I tried to control my breathing, but it was hard when I could see his face above me, his black hair hanging down by his ears, his warm, familiar, comforting face the mask of concern.

“Please calm down, Ava. You are not dead, I promise. I’m not alive though. We’re meeting in-between.”

Slowly, I pushed myself up to standing position, my eyes still fixed on the man in front of me.

My godfather.

“Sirius.” I whispered as I ran into him, knocking him back with the impact. I wrapped my arms around him and started to sob into his t-shirt.

“Ava, you’ve been so brave. Do you know that? Facing everything you’ve faced alone.”

I pulled away and took in my surroundings. The place we were standing in- it was completely white. I couldn’t tell the ceiling from the sky. It was all the same colour.

Sirius placed his hands on my cheeks. I shook my head,

“I haven’t been brave, Sirius. I’ve been cowardly. I could have saved your life, and I wasn’t there because I wasn’t sure whether or not to help-”

“Ava.” Sirius’ voice was firm, “Ava, you will not blame yourself for my death. If you’d have been there, it could have been you that would have died instead. Then what would have happened? Harry would have been grieving for the sister that he didn’t get to know-”

“But Harry doesn’t really know me any more than he did! I’m keeping secrets from him that he deserves to know!” I tried to look down at the floor, but Sirius kept his grip on my face firm.

“You  shouldn’t punish yourself for my death. Nor should you punish yourself for the choices you have made. Lord Voldemort was too cruel to you- to choose between Fred and Harry’s life. What could you do?”

I gulped,

“But I never-”

Sirius cut me off,

“Ssh. I know. Don’t do this to yourself. Not now, Ava.”

I stayed silent, lost for words. How was I here? In amongst the shock of seeing Sirius, I had forgotten to ask how I had gotten here.

“What happened? How am I here?”

Sirius finally pulled his hands away from my face,