Zombieland: The New Guys

Chapter 1

Hello! My name is Toronto and I am a Canadian lumberjack. When I'm not cutting down trees, I am playing hockey usually on a frozen pond in the winter. I am from Etobicoke which is from a small town just south of the Toronto airport.  Apparently this planet "Earth... a ZombieLand!! "Oh no!!!! " Help me mommy!! What ever shall I do?" "Meh, lumberjacks don't cry." I make my way to the airport to see if I can borrow a plane ✈️, hopefully with no zombies on board. By the time I got to the airport, I feel the sudden urge to use the bathroom or as we lumberjacks call "pop a squat." I encountered someone else when I entered the bathroom. Well turned out to be a guy in there who was from Baghdad. Hockey locker room plus zombie apocalypse prepared my nose for exactly what smelling bathroom. I asked what he was doing in Canada on year three of zombie apocalypse. He told me about is plans to celebrate his birthday by pulling the dumbest and dirtiest trick I ever heard of. Let's just say involved high-jacking a non-stop flight to Cancun. Good thing for a zombie apocalypse because he would not get away this. After we finished our business I told him;  "You better not do that one again because America can see it coming a mile away." Well that was all before this zombie apocalypse. After we finished washing our hands a zombie walked into the bathroom🚽 I picked up my chainsaw and did the nasty 🤢 thing. We continued on to the runway keeping the zombies at bay and we decided to look for small plane. Bigger the plane the more zombies 🧟‍♀️ That we would have to deal with. We settled for a small propeller plane.