never G.D

1

I'm lying on my bed and watching the Dolan Twins' new video called, facing our phobias. I love Gray but I can relate to E so much in this vid. I also have misophonia but not trypophobia. Even tho that shit is gross.

Then out of nowhere I get a phone call from my mom.

"Hey honey, is everything okay over there?"

"Yeah mom, I'm great."

"Are you sure because I can co-"
I cut here off

"Mom, trust me, I'm fine and don't worry, you don't need to call every second, okay? Everything is fine."

"Okay hun, but just know if you ever need to talk to me about something, I'm here for you."

"Mama, you know I don't do that to myself anymore, but thank you."

"Love you, hun."

"Love u toooooo." I say childishly.
I hang up

I love my mother, don't  get me wrong.
It's just ever since the 'incident' she has been really worried about me. And she calls. A lot.
Look, I've been suicidal since my father passed away from lung cancer, earlier his year. He was so kind and caring and I loved him so much. I begged him to quit smoking and he promised that he would. He even promised for my birthday that he would give up. But he couldn't and he didn't. After he died I hurt myself and attempted suicide. What seemed to make matters worse, I always wanted to be skinny so I wouldn't eat for a few days and I would work out whenever I'm I could to get a thinner waist and a bigger butt.
Man, I was fucked until the Dolan Twins came back into my life. I was a big fan before but I had stopped watching their videos when my dad got sick and I only recently discovered their channel again.

I love them so fucking much. I know almost every detail about them.

It's sad, I know but I cry over the fact that I will never meet them.

A/n: hey guys. This is my first time writing a fanfic on Wattpad so I'm sorry if it sucks:( Also I just wanted to give you a little back story before the story actually begins.... bye love u guys ❤️❤️