Mean Girls fanfics that I'm gonna regret

Janis Isn't A Lesbian...Or Maybe She Is

"I just can't! This isn't working, I've tried so hard to make it work, but it's not! I can't be with you, not like this!" Janis' eyes begin to well with tears as she knocks the fork off the table and storms out, not looking back to see Kevin's face.
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As soon as she leaves the restaurant, she runs back to her house, unable to full-on sprint because her vision is clouded over by tears. She can't keep using Kevin as a cover, it's not fair to him. She's been leading him on this whole time and now he's done something actually sort of sweet and she just shut him down completely. He definitely hates her now, how could he not hate her? She's told him she loved him for months, she's kissed him as hard as she could until they've run out of breath almost every day. But he didn't know that every day, each kiss gets more and more nauseating and the world spins around her, but not in a good way.

As she runs, the same feeling is coming back quickly. She just barely manages to turn the corner to her street and run up to her room, ignoring her mom and Holly in a haze of tears. She locks herself in her closet as tears pour down her cheeks, her new vow being to stay in the closet in all ways possible until she dies.

That is, until the closet door rattles with a gentle knock.

"JanJan? Sweet, it's Damian. Your mom let me in, she called me and told me you were upset, so I came over. Are you gonna come out of there?"

All he hears is a small, distressed whimper echoing from behind the door. "I'll take that as a no. Alright, will you at least let me in there?"

The question elicits more small whimpers, but this time some shuffling and a faint click of the lock accompany them. Damian slowly prices open the door, awkwardly settling halfway into Janis' crammed closet.

"I'm never coming out of here as long as I live," Janis declares solemnly, burying her head in her knees.

"Wanna tell me what's going on, sweet?" Damian asks, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"I...I broke up with Kevin."

"Anything else? I know you, JanJan. That isn't all that's bugging you, so there's no point in lying to me."

"He...he got me a promise ring, and I broke up with him. Because..." she hesitates, taking a breath before falling silent.

"Because....?" Damian prompts gently.

"I think...I'm g--," Janis mumbles, purposely making the last word unintelligible.

"You're what?" Damian sets his hand on her back gently, trying to coax her to talk. Meanwhile, Janis is internally panicking. She knows Damian is gay, so she knows he'll accept her, but she's still so scared and confused and she can't explain why, nor does she want to. The words and taunts that haven't left her brain begin circling around again, getting louder and louder until she can't take it anymore. But Janis isn't a lesbian.

Or maybe she is. "I'm - I'm fucking gay, Damian!" Janis yells loudly as she flings herself at Damian, nearly in hysterics, both literally and figuratively coming out of the closet. She never meant to scream, and now she's hoping that Holly and her mom have left for Holly's soccer game already, she's hoping neither of them heard that, she's hoping Damian will hug her and won't let go, she's scared to tell her family, she's scared that people at school will find out, she's scared to get a girlfriend, she's scared of proving Regina right, and by now her breaths are faster than she can keep up with.

"Oh, JanJan...don't cry, JanJan, it's okay, it's okay...breathe for me, please..."

Janis sucks in a breath, exhaling between sobs. She shouldn't be crying, Damian's right. There's no reason to cry, she shouldn't be crying, why the fuck is she crying, she can't stop crying, she's probably offending Damian because she's making it seem like being gay is this terrible thing, but it's not, and she knows it's not, but it can't be her, she doesn't want it to be her, she doesn't want to own up to it, but she has to, she likes girls and that's that, and she's still crying, crying harder into Damian's chest, her mind racing with endless worries and "what-ifs" that won't stop no matter how hard she tries and all she can do is sit in Damian's lap and cry until her eyes burn and her mouth is dryer than sandpaper.

Damian waits patiently, stroking her hair and murmuring "JanJan" over and over until she relaxes slightly.

"I'm...I'm gay...I like g-girls," Janis finally mutters into his shirt.

"And that's okay. I like guys, and that's okay, too. You're okay, JanJan. There's nothing wrong with it."

"I - I know...but they c-called me...s-so many times...I don't want them to be r-right..."

"JanJan, there's no use denying it now, you'll make it worse for yourself. I know it can be hard to accept at first, it was hard for me too...but you'll be happier the sooner you do. You were never happy with Kevin, were you?"

Janis shakes her head. "M-Maybe at first...a little...but when he k-kissed me...I w-wanted to throw up..."

"See? You were trying to do your own conversion therapy and it wasn't working. Plain as that. But you shouldn't pretend to be something you're not. It isn't healthy, especially in the future. Listen, you don't have to come out to anyone else until you're sure you're ready to. Not your mom, or Holly, or anyone at school. You don't have to come out to anyone if you don't want to."

"I-If I get a g-girlfriend...?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I know it's bothering you, but we'll figure it out. Whoever it will be, if you really love her, you won't be embarrassed to be romantic with her in public."

Janis pauses for a few seconds to process everything, her mind exhausted from the racing thoughts. "D-Damian...?"

"Yes, sweet?"

"C-Can I...lay in your lap for a little...I'm...kinda tired..."

"Of course." Janis immediately collapses into his warm, comforting lap, stretching her body all the way across. Damian begins miming strumming as he runs his fingers through her hair, trying to make her laugh, which he does just a little. Janis closes her eyes, stretching her back out slowly.

"Sleep well, my fellow gay." Damian smiles down at her, laughing a little in his head.

Did she really think he hadn't known this whole time?