Heart tugs and hurt souls ticci Toby x reader

Ch.1

NOTE: there is cursing, self harm, sexual stuff but that's not till more into the story! Anyways I'll warn u
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Your POV:
It was another regular day. By regular day I mean my 3 brothers bothering me, my mom complaining about how "dirty" the house was, and my dad working. The youngest was my little brother Gabriel. The oldest was my other brother James. I was in the middle with my other older brother Shawn. Me and my dad were probably the only ones with common sense. I marked the rest as insane in the brain, immature, bothersome, misunderstood. A roller coaster of emotions. But in the end I loved them. No matter what. I just refused to show it.

"YOU SUCK!"
James yelled. I was in the backyard training. I knew martial arts. Plus I did for a reason. I applied to be in the military working on a field that involved the government. The training I did all me life made me very skilled and I was able to defend myself. But of course my brothers always judged me and looked down on me because they were jealous. They were jealous that I was so skilled, beautiful, strong and better than them. I can't blame them. I actually have my life planned and work hard. My father was very proud of me. Sure my mom was sometimes too but my father appreciates me more.
"CAN IT SHORTY!"
I yelled back. Gabriel was a short shrimp so I always made jokes about him with Shawn. "Why you bully me?" He joked. I laughed a little. "Because you bullied me. Now leave me alone." I said. He frowned. "But I wanted to play video games with you." He whined. The only way to stop his whining was to play. "Fine I'll play." I sighed. Gabriel ran in and put in a game. "SHAWN WANNA SMASH!" He yelled. Usually when we say wanna smash it means wanna play smash bros. We mean it as a joke. "HELL YEA I WANNA SMASH! ILL BEAT YOU ALL! WATCH ME!" He said. I smiled and sat on the floor. Taking the controller we started playing.

-half an hour later-

"Salty boy!" Shawn said. He and Gabriel were fighting again and turning salty. "Be quiet I'm not salty you are!" Shawn kept killing Gabriel a lot and winning. I honestly didn't care if I did or did not win but the yelling and fighting is annoying. "Why can't we just have a nice game with no fights. It's not a big deal." I depressingly say. They continued to fight ignoring me. I huffed and got up to get changed and leave. "Your not gonna play anymore?" Asked James. I shake my head. "Imma go out for a walk and then shower when I get back." I explained. Going to my room I put on some skinny f/c jeans and a xxxtentacion sweater. (Rest in power dude loved you and your songs). Putting on my black combat boots and phone I walked out the door. Before closing it I yelled to my mom "I'll be back soon!" and closed the door.

THANKS FOR READING NOODLES!