Attempt No 1176

The Boy on the Rooftop

Samaya was sat at the edge of the roof of the apartment complex, which apparently was the tallest building around in the modern Kathmandu city. But as he looked down, his lips immediately turned down into a frown, realising that it really wasn't as tall as he had thought.
He crunched down on some random protein bar he had found in his backpack, probably expired-not that he cared, and swung his legs, like a child sitting in a high chair as he took in the view. Buildings upon upon buildings stood on top of what previously had been a field full of flowers and a home of some local tigers who were now long long dead,either taken back by the earth or driven away by the ignorant humans.

After finishing the last bite of the disgusting bar, he stood up promptly and threw the wrapper down the building but it never reached the bottom. Instead the wind carried it away to god knows where. His eyes squinted in instinct as he looked at the setting sun which casted a warm glow on his skin which looked a lot more paler than he remembered.
Scratching his head, feeling his dirty oily hair break and fall down, he felt disgusted by himself and who wouldn't. The way he looked right now, sunken eyes, hollow cheek, tattered clothes, bare feet, dirty. When was the last time he had showered? Absolutely disgusting!
He growled at the thought and turned around, grabbing his phone from the bag, filled to the brim with cassettes and opened the recording app with hurry,

"Recording no 565. Attempt no 1176 and I'm back at the place where it all started. Well the building didn't used to be here before and this isn't the exact place but the general area. I don't think is gonna work cause this building is way to short. It doesn't hurt to try right? Actually nope. It does but something is better than nothing. If someone is listening to this, i request you to start from cassette labeled 1, it'll make more sense."

Samaya stopped the recording and saved it before putting the phone back inside the pack, making sure that his phone was properly locked. He walked back slowly, getting closer and closer to the edge until one step was all he needed to fall off when suddenly the door leading to the roof slammed open and a boy ran in, his dark black hair messy and unruly and his eyes, just as dark his hair, boring into Samaya as his gaze alone could hold him from falling.
"Stop! Please Don't jump!"

The stranger screamed, running towards him with his heavily tanned hand outstretched but Samaya had already taken the step back, his eyes closed, the voice echoing in his ear as gravity immediately pulled him down. He dared to open his eyes and they widened as guilt worked into his throat as he looked at the boy on the rooftops' expression. And the first time in 100 years, he wanted to live. He stretched his arm against gravity to hold the other's hand but he knew it was too late, much too late as he crashed into the ground,everything going black almost immediately, his eyes shutting close.

When he opened them however, he found his consciousness out of his body. He groaned and looked at his body as the people around him screamed. His skull had definitely cracked and he was sure he had a few broken ribs and a leg. He was bleeding out rapidly into the gray concrete of the floor and he felt slightly bad for the people who had to see this and clean it up later on. He felt even worse for the boy on the rooftop too but when he looked up, no one was there. He frowned and watched as the kid ran out of the door of the apartment complex, Samaya's backpack swinging in his hand, headed towards his body.

A cough broke him out of his thought and he jumped, the scene immediately changing into a blank blurry one.

"Fucking hell. What's with you and being sneaky. I get you're death and all but could you like not?"
He said with a scowl as Death, who currently had masked itself to look like a girl laughed with joy. She was beautiful, tall and dark with curly hair framing her oval face like a halo but what she was wearing what could only be described as the opposite of a funeral, all bright colours, contrasting each other to the point it hurt his eyes.
"So why are you here?" He asked with anger radiating from him, "To mock me?"

"Lord no. I'm here just because Heaven was surprised that you didn't wanna really die this time. That too because of a guy."
His anger quickly dissipated, eyes widening Samaya quickly took a defensive stance,
"You're going to kill the boy!?" He asked in panic, "He has done absolutely nothing fucking wrong! Why would you-"
"Oh calm down. I'm not allowed to interfere with your shit. You know that. That's why you're alive. I'm just here to observe."
A smile played around in her lips as his eyes narrowed in disbelief, "I'll be lurking around."
She said as he felt a similar tug at his being and next thing he knew everything went black.

Next time he was conscious, he could barely crack his eyes and focus against the bright light and when he took a deep breath, he immediately knew where he was. A hospital.
He tried to sit up but a gentle hand pushed him back, "Rest."
He knew the voice, he couldn't place where but it was both commanding yet gentle. And the hand which had been on his chest, held his hand, calming him down more. How long had it been someone had held his hand? But he did what the voice told him and despite the ache in his body, he went back to sleep. The last thing on his mind was a hope to meet the person beside his bed.

Recording no 1:
"Uhhh Hi? I sure hope this is working. I don't even know what I'm doing." A sad, choked laugh."Well I'm going to kill my- Attempt to kill myself. This is my 651st attempt. Fuck. Okay. Let's restart. Im Samaya Khanal. And I'm seventy one years old. I haven't aged a single bit since I've been 21 years old and I hate it. I don't age, I don't die. I'm sick of fucking living but since I can't fucking die, I've decided to start recording everytime I attempt to kill myself. If it works, then great. If not it'll continue. So recording one, I'm gonna try and hang myself. If i survive, I'll start putting in why I wanna die as well."