the hangover | phil wenneck

Chapter 6

"This isn't fair!" Stu whined. "It's rock, paper, scissors there's nothing more fair!" Phil said back, sitting on a chair and watching Alan. "Alan should do it!" Stu complained. "Alan took a punch from Mike Tyson! Come on for Lily and Doug. We have to get this fucking tiger back!" Phil said seriously meaning there was no way out for Stu.

Alan now began peppering the steak. "Why are you peppering the steak?" Stu asked. "Tigers love pepper! They hate cinnamon!" Alan said back, Stu confused. "Phil just do it! You should do it!" Stu whined again, "I would but you lost! It wouldn't be right!" Phil said, defending himself.

"Alright, I jammed the five roofies in there! Just go in there and throw it to him!" Alan said handing the steak to Stu, he grabbed it, "Fine!" he said as he headed to the bathroom door.

"Make sure he eats the whole thing!" Phil said to Stu before he opened the door.

Stu opened the door slowly and went inside, staying at the edge of the wall. He was completely nervous and was hoping the tiger wouldn't attack him but he knew he had to do it for Lily and Doug! He looked at the tiger, "Fuck!" he said. He then moved slightly away from the edge of the wall to face the tiger which was laying down with ruined pieces of stuff that was in the bathroom.

"Hey kitty! Hey sweetie, it's ok! I got a little snack for you!" Stu said nervously while holding the steak towards the tiger.
"It's real important that you eat this ok! Just have a little-" Stu continued but was cut off by the tiger growling and jumping up, almost clawing Stu making Stu scream really loud. He threw the steak to the ground and run out the door, shutting it immediately. Phil and Alan looked at Stu — who just saw his life flash before his eyes — standing at the door, the two guys shocked that he didn't get hurt by what they heard.

Stu breathed in and breathed out,  "What do we do now?!" he asked calmly.

"We wait!" Alan said.

They waited for a while, Phil sitting down and reading a magazine and Alan sitting down just simply waiting. Stu began fooling around with the piano in the villa, the chicken chilling on top. He started singing a song he made up just then about Doug:

"What do tigers dream of, when they take a little tiger snooze?
Do they dream of mauling zebras or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit?
Don't you worry you pretty striped head,
we're gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed!
Then we're gonna find our best friend Doug
and then we're gonna give him a best friend hug!
Doouuggg, Doouugg ohhhh Doouggg, Doug, Doouuggie, Doug, Doug!"

Stu sang, but paused for a second then began again,

"But if he's been murdered by crystal meth tweakers....."

Stu paused again, everyone hearing the tiger groan then a huge thump as he fell,

"well then we're shit out of luck!"

he finished and turned towards the guys knowing that the tiger was out now and it was time to bring it to the car. Phil and Stu grabbed the drugged tiger from the bathroom and placed him on a luggage roller carrier that the hotel. They then covered it's body with a sheet so no one would see it.

They rolled it out of the room and into the hallway, Alan kept on moving the roller towards the wall because he was scared causing the tiger's face to hit against the wall, a groan escaping from it's mouth even though it was passed out. They managed to make it all the way down to the car and put it in the backseat. Everyone then got into the car, Alan in the passenger seat, Stu squeezed in the middle and Phil driving. They headed to Mike's house as they got the address from the chaperone.