This isn't a diary, because it isn't completely true but in here I type up my raw, intense emotions at times when I can't really recognize myself.
Not everything is completely true, but this fiction has some truth to it.
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I think of you a lot. If I told you truthfully how I felt would you run away or embrace me? Do you have feelings as deep as this- that it physically pains you and mentally drains you? It hurts me to see you carry on with your life as you should because it reminds me I don't have an impact on your life. I don't matter to you as much as you matter to me. Not a day goes by where you are not on my mind but do you ever take a step back and notice me? Do you even look at me? Can you even look at me? You must know a little bit of the truth... maybe from the way I look at you from across the room, hoping that even for a second you'd look back. Or from the way I always have a sly smile on my face when you are nearby. Your smile is my favorite part of every day. I don't think you notice the faces you make when you think no one is looking or how I see some of your weaknesses that you try to cover up. I don't know how you could, all of you, every single part, is beautiful. I could spend the rest of my years loving you. Only if you let me, though.
