Why Did You Leave Me?

***

A/N:

Soooo something's telling me it's probably a bad idea to have the first thing I write here be depressing af.

But i already wrote it so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This is based off of one of Yoherlandy's performances on Revolution. He performed a beautiful/heartbreaking dance that was about his brother's death, and both the twins (and half the Clique) broke down during it. If you haven't seen it, here ya go -

https://www.instagram.com/p/BqpL1UaA1Qk/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet

  (Lmao can't get it to work so copy paste it)

When I read Larry and Lau's comments on it, especially Larry's (I would've done the same thing) this popped into my head.

WARNING- this has a brief scene of gun violence in it, character death, and is very very very sad. If that will bother you, click away now. For everyone else, *welcome to hell*

I'm sorry in advance.

Get your tissues ready :)

***

Larry layed silently on his childhood bed, an impressive thing since he was now almost two times the size of it. It was old and worn, the tattered mattress no more comfortable now than it had been when he shared it with his brothers and sisters as a child. He stared out of the small window in the room that was steadily letting sunlight stream in. Anyone else would say it was a beautiful day- the sun was out, melting the last bits of winter away as the spring flowers began to bloom. Usually, he'd love it. Love the warm sun and chilled breeze in the air, the chirping of birds that were absent for months, the overall feeling of rebirth spring came with.

But all of that was before.

Before his heart had been ripped out of his chest, torn in two, and stuffed back in. Before he'd had the drowning wave of hopelessness and grieving wash over him.

Before he'd lost Laurent.

"Larry! Stay back, they're going to help him! You have to stay here!" He could barely hear the words being yelled at him over the loud ambulance sirens as Eleni shoves against his chest, trying to keep him away from his brother's side. He couldn't see much from here, just Laurent's cloud of hair poking out from underneath the paramedics surrounding him. Larry is numb. He can't hear the screaming directed at him, can't feel himself shove Eleni out of the way and can't feel himself collapse to his knees once he sees his twin. He gets pulled back again before he can fully process what's in front of him, but there's one thing he does register:

Red.

Larry's heart clenches in pain remembering that day. Even as the sadness washes over him again, he can't cry. He has no more tears. He never thought he would get to that point, hell he didn't even know it was possible, but he just can't anymore. When something hurts that much for too long, eventually you'll hit a point of depression that you can't come back from, and he'd hit that point long ago. He clutches tighter to the hoodie in his arms- his twin's hoodie- and screws his eyes shut. He'd always known- on the rare occasions that he'd dared to imagine losing Laurent- that it would hurt. He knew it would be the worst pain he'd ever felt, even thought it could push him into depression, but he couldn't have imagined the emptiness that came with it. He knew he would never commit suicide, but only for the sole reason of his family. How could he take away his mami's second baby? She'd barely survived losing Lau, and she and Larry weren't the only ones feeling the loss. He didn't have it in him to give up, not with all of them still reeling from his twin's death. Not to mention Lilo- he'd never let her grow up without her dad in the world. He hadn't been the greatest father, and he knew that, but not dying felt like the least he could do. He had to stay strong, keep going for all of them. No, he wouldn't end his own life- but in a way it was already gone. Physically he was still here, still breathing, but emotionally?