I laid under a tree, in our garden. My hair spread around my head, I was now tired, a long day of having been jumping on the trampoline. I felt my dog lick my face and I giggled, reaching up to stroke his head. I was looking at the sunlight flickering through the moving leaves, almost kissing them, lighting the leaves up to a serene green. I felt dreamy. The sunlight caressed my face as I embraced this feeling of pure tranquility and ethereal beauty. I felt the planes of grass against my cheek, against my whole back. I felt the slow heartbeat of the earth, along with my own, as it whispered unheard secrets of flourishing flowers and butterflies opening their wings for the first time.
The summer wind stroked my skin, bringing the whole, wide world to my garden. I imagined the wind moving on, now tickling the skin of someone else, taking an essence of me with it. The wind connects us all, I thought, looking at my hands against the endless blue sky.
I loved watching the clouds. I loved being so connected to everything around me for a moment, feeling every single groan of every tree, hearing every single insect, seeing the vast sky, clouds drifting by. Sympathizing with the pain of time. All the lives I'm not living, I feel them now. It's getting hard to breathe, the pressure is on my lungs. It's on my very being.
I wonder who else is looking up at the sky.
'Are you as happy as I am?' I mouth, the sunshine is blinding.
A ladybug lazily climbs up my fingers, and I focus all of my attention on it's tiny legs, feeling every step it takes on my skin. I don't move, I don't blink, I don't think i'm breathing either. I don't want the ladybug to fly away. My senses are alight, tingling with all the energy I'm suddenly feeling, I'm pulsing to my very core.
I allow myself a small smile and a gasp of air. As the fresh oxygen streams into my lungs, I notice that I am so so thirsty, my mouth is dry and my body is numb.
I sit up and drowsily head into the kitchen to get myself a glass of water.
The ladybug is still crawling on my hand.
I don't realize until much later, that these are the moments we live for.
