16 Things To Do Before I Die

Chapter 2

My eyes shut open as the sound of the door creaking woke me up: it was my mother. 

I frowned as the black bags under her eyes from her lack of sleep and constant worrying were more visible than ever before. Her naturally tanned skin was now colourless and that broken smile that I hate so much was spread across her face. I knew this one too well, it was the same one that she's been giving me for the past 4 years.

« Good Morning, baby» she said, her voice shaking.

« Is it good news»? I quickly asked, practically in a form or whisper.

She came towards me and took my frozen hands into hers as she looked into my eyes; tears forming by her waterline.

« April baby; I'm so sorry...» She paused to breathe as tears began falling on her cheeks. She didn't have to go on but I couldn't find the words to make her stop. « They did everything they could...» she paused again, this time gasping for air.«But they think they were too late...»

I looked down knowing what the rest of the story was; it's the end for me. I looked at my broken mother whilst I sat there numbly quiet. I couldn't find the words within me to reply. 

Suddenly, the doctor came in and began telling us how sorry he was and how they did everything they could. The same narrative that my mother just spoke except his narration was much colder...distant almost. I guess that's important when you're a doctor: to protect your emotions from interfering with your work. How terrible must it be, to have to announce to people that they are dying on a daily basis. 

« Ms.Lee, we allow you to go back home and live as much of a normal life as you can.» He said, using his reassuring tone.

I looked down, unsure of how I possibly could.

« How long do I have left? » I asked gently, still shaken by the whole situation.

He sighted.

« We believe that it may be less than a year » he answered, his glance returning distant.

I closed my eyes, holding the tears back; never would I have thought that I would be in this position at sixteen. I looked back at the doctor and thanked him for everything and watched him leave me and my mother to pack up our things and go back home; whatever that is. 

Never would I have thought to be unhappy about leaving the hospital; I guess this play quickly became my new home. 

I sighted deeply whilst entering the car, mentally preparing myself to begin the last chapter of my short 16 years of existence.

The car ride back home was silent as both of us were too startled to say anything.

I guess that when the last song begins, it seems silly to talk about meaningless things to fill the silence. Every second becomes too important. 

We finally arrived at the house that I once used to call my home.

My mother unlocked the front door as anticipation built up inside of me: did it still look the same? What about my room? Was everything still placed exactly how I left it?

When the door was finally opened, I watched my mother walk in before following closely behind her.

Walking up the stairs slowly, I listened to the sound of the wood cracking under my steps: memories flooded through my mind, which brought me such an unexplainable feeling of joy.

I carefully opened my bedroom door, smiling at the view.

Everything was exactly how I left it four years ago when I left for the hospital: my teddy bears were stilled pilled up at the end of my bed, my posters were still orderly placed on the wall by my window, and my room was overall still messy: left untouched.

Looking at my alarm clock, I quickly noticed that it was already past twelve: sighting in discontentment, I changed into my pyjamas, closed the light and laid down carefully onto my bed. A feeling of uneasiness overwhelmed me. How silly to sleep when you're so close to dying.

....

Groaning loudly, I instinctively shut my eyes as a way to shield them from the light shining from my window. I had been asleep for way too long.

Getting up slowly, I headed to the bathroom to take a shower. Once out, I looked around my room and smiled in satisfaction because I was finally home.

I put on a pair of black skinny jeans a white v-neck shirt paired with my favourite black converse. I grabbed my my IPod and my journal, which both laid on my nightstand, and placed them into my bag before running outside; making sure to inform my startled mother that I was going for a walk. Deeply desiring for her to not worry about me anymore.

Breathing deeply, I let myself inhale the fresh air that I had craved for so such a long time as I began walking gracefully on the sidewalk; memories of my younger self immersing themselves in my brain.

But my smile soon disappeared as I noticed a shadow following me closely.

Turning around, fear filled my eyes as I soon realized it was the same car in which those two murderers drove away with 5 years ago.

I automatically began walking faster, but quickly realized the driver started speeding up too; therefore, I began running.

Fearing it might be the last thing I ever do.