Possibility

The Ned Talk

Any books or movies that featured fat and or chubby girls, usually used them for comedic purposes. Other times they were used just to be given a make-over so their love would at last notice them. Rarely ever were they allowed to love themselves as they were or allowed to be loved as they were. It was the saddest bit of knowledge you'd ever come to know. Why weren't people allowed to love themselves? Squishy parts and all? Why was being a bit bigger considered to be so disgusting?

Well, it wasn't entirely disgusting, not to some. Though, that was only true if you were fat in the right places. Your tummy couldn't be too big, neither could your face or arms. You had to have fat in your ass and breasts- in the places guys liked most. That fact disgusted you- but it also made you sad. You weren't big in the right places. You had a jiggling belly, you had some rolls- and it didn't matter how big your ass was or how large your breasts were- your curves weren't wanted unless they met the proper criteria. How sad.

You sighed, shutting your locker softly, unable to fight the smile that graced your face when your eyes met his. He'd made a habit of meeting you at your locker ever since your friendship began. Though lately, he hadn't done it much. He'd recently gotten an internship at Stark Industries and has been acting somewhat off ever since. He began quitting his extra curriculars to make more time for this internship of his- he'd even been taking rain checks on your usual movie nights or study nights with you and Ned. You couldn't lie and say it didn't suck because it did. You looked forward to those movie and study nights more than you cared to admit. It allowed you to see a side of him he didn't often show in school- thanks to Flash. You got to see his eyes sparkle with excitement and wonder- got to hear him make cheesy science puns and joke around with Ned. You got to see him exactly as he was-

"[Y/n]?"

You hadn't realized that you'd spaced out while he was speaking, "Hm?"

"You okay? You looked kinda sad there for a minute."

"Oh. I'm fine. Just tired, you know?", you replied, and he seemed to believe your lie.

"At least it's Friday.", Ned piped in, coming out from behind Peter.

"True.", you said.

"Yeah, and tonights supposed to be movie night. You gonna be able to make it, Peter?", Ned asked, looking up at his friend.

Peter just gave a sad little smile, "Sorry guys... I've got-"

"The internship.", you finished with a sigh, "It's cool, we get it. We've gotten used to it just being us. We won't ask anymore.."

Peter frowned now, "I just- this could lead to a real job, y'know? Gotta work hard.."

You nodded, "That's what you always say, Peter."

"[Y/n]..."

"It's fine. See you guys at lunch.", you murmured, walking off, leaving the two boys to stand and watch you go.

"Dude..", Ned began, looking at Peter, who just huffed in response.

"Yeah. I know.."

The beginning of the end..

It sure as hell felt that way. Freshman year went so blissfuly- so easily. You didn't believe people when they told you that your Freshman year would be the easiest year you'd have in high school. You didn't think it'd really get worse each year like they said. Freshman year was a breeze. You'd made two cool new friends- well, three, but with Michelle there was really no telling if she considered you as such. She seemed to. Regardless, you'd spent so much time with these two incredibly smart boys. You'd learned them and they learned you- it was easy and great- and then came the feelings. Peter wormed his way into the deepest parts of your heart and filled you up with this beautiful feeling. He gave you butterflies and warmth- and then he tore it all away, leaving you with a gaping hole. Liz had captured his heart and now everything was starting to end.

Peter spent more time staring her way than he ever did you. You told yourself it didn't hurt- it was expected. Peter wasn't ugly- and even though Flash tried to convince him otherwise, he wasn't a loser either. How could he be? How could this amazing boy be a loser? Any girl would be lucky to be the one to have his affections. Liz was incredibly lucky- and you had a feeling she knew it. They were on the decathlon team together- that was how he met her. He grew to know her and grew to like her. Of course she'd like him too. Of course..

"You can't keep this inside of you forever..", Ned had said to you sometime after you both started watching movies.

Ned knew your well kept secret. He'd noticed the way you looked at Peter and the subtle ways you'd tried gaining his attention. You denied it to high hell and continued to do so, even as he tried to encourage you to do something about your feelings.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Ned."

Ned sighed, "Yes, you do."

"I don't.", you insisted.

"You do."

"Even if I did, which I don't, there's no point."

Ned sighed again, "Not this again, [Y/n].."

"It's the truth-"

"How many times have you told me that if someone doesn't like me because of my weight, that they're not worth my time? That they're at a loss and just might be shallow? Do you think Peter's shallow?"

You made a face, "No. I know he's not- and I know he's not desperate, Ned. You just- haven't I told you? Girls like me- we just- we don't get- we aren't liked, okay? Not like that. We have to learn to like ourselves, cause no one else is gonna. We have to save ourselves and heal ourselves. We don't do crushes, we don't get crushed on and that's it. Could you please drop it? I told you a thousand times already, I don't like him and he doesn't like me."

"Fine. Keep lying to yourself. Eventually you'll see it's not doing you any good."

"I'm not lying. I'm telling the truth and it's doing wonders for me. You should stop spewing crazy nonsense."

"Whatever you say, [Y/n]."

Ned knew better though. He knew what you were feeling and going through. He faced the same problems you did, just a tad differently. Girls didn't like him that way because he didn't have a ripped body or beautifully sculpted face. Bullies targeted him too- he'd had many a crushes that never went anywhere- just like you. It's what made you two grow so close so quickly. You both knew what it was like to be overweight and to be treated as though you weren't another living human because of it. He knew every fat joke and insult just like you. He'd been taunted and tormented just as you had. He knew you, and so it hurt him just a little to hear you speak that way. You were his friend too, and he wanted you to be happy. He'd been through the same bullshit as you.

Yet it seemed like people had done more damage to you than he knew of, or that you were willing to admit.

What else could explain the way you had to fight back tears every time he tried to build you up? The way you'd shake a tad when he pulled you in for a hug afterwards. He didn't know that some of the demons in your head were created by you. That you'd made them so that no one else would be able to. You hurt yourself before anyone could have the chance.

He hugged you as tight as he could, wishing he could just press all your broken pieces back together like this. He wished his hugs could cure you-

He also wished Peter would open his fucking eyes for once..

Just once-