WANT YOU → kryozgaming

best friends → • ° ✧

it wasn't a huge party, like the ones kids threw in their senior year of high school, but it was big enough to make a few mistakes in. you weren't notorious for it, but tonight, maybe you let the alcohol and adrenaline get to you a little too much.

finding refuge in the bathroom, you could still hear the music playing faintly from beneath the floor downstairs, but it was muffled. it wasn't the greatest song anyways, you thought. you sat against the wall opposite the sink, legs sprawled out in front of you with your hands favouring a nearly empty cooler that started to taste bitter on your tongue. it was getting hard to stand anyways. despite letting a few tears wink through your lashes, your face still felt hot even after you splashed it with cold water twice.

tonight wasn't as fun as you thought it would be. at first, you were having a blast, mingling with different people throughout the party like a social butterfly. the people there were cool — you knew them, associated with them — but they couldn't be considered friends. this went on idly for hours at least until you settled down near the makeshift bar in the kitchen and made easy conversation through the loud music.

someone sat next to you at some point and poked your shoulder, and you turned to face someone you knew. you talked for a small bit, and while the details were still a little fuzzy even now, you realize you ended up kissing them on pure whim. this went on for a few minutes before you began to feel eyes burning into your own, and that stopped you fairly quick. soon enough, people were walking up to you, mentioning how that might have been a mistake, how they weren't proud of you, how it wasn't the best choice, and no matter how much they acted like they cared, you knew they didn't. all they cared about was the drama.

you hastily grabbed another drink and excused yourself. they didn't watch you wipe the back of your wrist across your lips before ascending the stairs.

and now, you hid in the bathroom of your friend's house with a drink you didn't want to finish anymore, and a feeling of regret weighing down your stomach like a rock that wouldn't go away. anxious thoughts invaded your mind. what were you going to do? why would you do that? what was everybody going to think of you now? would they even remember? of course, it didn't help your position, so you cried again. it was a little pathetic, but that's about how your night was going so far anyways. maybe you'd just sleep in there. live in there forever. you had running water, towels for blankets, it was almost perfect.

there was a knock at the door.

"you can't come in!" you called out. maybe it'd be better if you just disappeared. then nobody would worry, or care, or notice. you sniffed once, wiping one teary eye with your hand.

there was another knock, but this time, your name in question accompanied it.

a little voice in the back of your aching head told you not to open the door, but the better conscience willed you to stand on your jell-o knees and stumble over to the door. you unlocked the knob and peeked through the crack carefully.

"can i come in?"

you sighed and turned around, letting john in behind you. he followed you and closed the door, locking it again. he watched you sit back down on the floor where you were before, nearly knocking over your drink in the process.

"are you okay?" john asked, one hand in his pocket, the other holding his own drink. he had all of his rings on, and you noticed the black nail polish he had on was already chipping even though you helped paint them that afternoon. his pale hair covered his face with a questionable expression on it as he looked down at you.

you scoffed in exasperation, gesturing to the bathroom. "pretty good, just chilling."

john blinked. "may i accompany you in 'chilling', m'lady?" he feigned a proper english accent, pointing his chin at the empty space on the floor next to you. you looked up at him with a small smile, shrugged, and looked back down at your hands that you became so distracted with. he put his drink down on the counter and sat on the floor next to you. his legs stretched out and leaned against yours.

he was your best friend, someone you considered close. you'd known each other for a long time, confided together. your friendship was simple but fun, always full of the support you each needed when you needed it. he was an amazing guy, probably the coolest person you could ever ask for when it came to a friend, and that wasn't just the booze getting to you.

"i'm so dumb," you blurted out. it was silent for a few moments. the song was different now, but still just as muffled in the bathroom.

"nah, i don't think so."

"i kissed them, john. and i knew i was doing it too. so did everybody else." you laughed at yourself, and felt tears stinging your puffy eyes again. "i don't know why, i just... did. i'm such an idiot."

"i mean, that's not the worst thing you could've done." john tried to mend the situation. while talking, he pulls out his vape and turns it on.

"what could've made that worse?" you mumbled, looking over at him.

"you could've..." john paused to think. "you could've bit his tongue or something." part of you has to stifle a laugh.

"that's so gross and dumb."

"but you didn't," he offers. it kind of helps, but part of you is still anxious, agitated.

"what's everyone going to say? like, don't tell me nobody was watching because literally everybody was watching." you start playing with the rim of your drink, and throw back the last gulp before setting down the empty can gently against the tile. "they're probably going to think i'm some kind of... i don't know."

it falls quiet again. john has been swinging one of his feet back and forth on the floor for the past few minutes, you noticed. you can feel him moving with his shoulder against yours, but you don't say anything. he takes a hit off of his vape, and offers it to you afterwards, but you turn it down.

"why does it matter what everybody else thinks?" john asks out of the blue. he was so quiet that you nearly forgot he was there if not for the smell of blue raspberry smoke filling the room.

you shrug.

"it's not like their opinions really matter. even if they talk about it, not everyone is actually going to care, y'know? i don't even think anyone here is gonna remember at this point. i know what really happened, so what they say doesn't matter to me. i think you're pretty cool."

it makes you feel a little bit better, but somehow, john always knows what to say to lift your spirits. he knows you well enough to notice the tiniest things that set you off or make you cry or laugh like you're about to bust a rib. you two are a dynamic duo, unstoppable and perfect.

"plus," he adds, "you're fucking drunk."

"i'm not drunk," you argue, and elbow his side, pushing him over. both of you laugh, and when he sits up again, he takes another hit off of his vape, blowing smoke up to the mirror. it feels like you two have been sitting there for hours, but when john runs out of alcohol and vape juice and the tears on your cheeks are finally dry, he looks you in the eye with a serious look on his face.

"are you okay?" he asks one more time. you nod your head.

"thanks," you murmur.

"i'm going back downstairs." john pockets his mod and tosses his empty drink into the garbage next to the sink, inaudibly whispering "kobe" under his breath while doing so. before john stands up, he turns his head to look at you again. you both stare at each other for a second. when you smile, he quickly leans over and kisses you, fast but promising. it's so fast that you're almost sure it didn't happen, but you can taste beer and blue raspberry on your lips now. you watch him kind of struggle to stand up and open the bathroom door.

"you're not an idiot, by the way–" he adds, and then points down at the drink you've been holding since you got inside.

"–unless you think that shit is actually beer, pussy."

"john!" you yell. he's already out the door by the time you can stand again, knees still weak enough that you have to pull yourself up via the counter, but you're certain that this time it's not just from the drinks when you remember your heart skipping once when john just looked at you. you finally gain leverage and burst out of the bathroom, chasing john downstairs laughing wildly.

he's probably more than your best friend at this point, but that's okay with you.

"i'm gonna kill you!"