Clean

| 1 | Figure it Out |

 I don't know how I managed to drive home from the doctor's office that afternoon, I was so distracted by the news that the baby had been conceived the week of the assault that I could hardly think straight. I didn't know how I was going to tell Liam that the baby that he was excited about might not be his.

I threw up for twenty minutes when I got home, it made me sick to my stomach to think about it. Unfortunately, Liam got home from practice while I was still on the bathroom floor.

"You okay Liv?" he asked, concerned when he came into the bathroom to find me sitting on the floor, "What happened at the doctor's appointment?"

"I'm five months pregnant Liam," I replied quietly, tears running down my face.

"Five months? I can't believe that you hadn't noticed," he said, crouching down next to me.

"I hadn't," I replied softly.

"What's wrong Liv?" he asked, sitting down next to me and wrapping his arm around me.

"I'm five months pregnant Liam," I said softly, "The doctor says that the baby was conceived in November, probably the week before Thanksgiving."

"Oh Liv," he sighed as I broke down crying.

"He's haunting me," I choked, "Just when I started getting better."

"Hey, look at me," he said, "You and I had sex twice that week. There's twice the chance that the baby is mine Liv."

"But what if it isn't," I cried.

"I'm going to ask you a question that's going to upset you," he sighed after a minute or so of nothing but silence and me crying.

"What?" I asked.

"Do you remember, that night, if he," he sighed, taking a deep breath, "If he finished?"

"I don't remember," I choked, "God Liam, how am I going to be a mom when I can hardly function as a human being?"

"Hey, you've been doing so well this last month or so," he said, "You've been going and seeing Laura once a week and doing really well with the anti-anxiety meds and everything."

"But what if all the hormones make me worse?" I asked.

"Then we have them find you different meds and we make whatever change we need to," he replied, kissing me on the cheek, "Olivia, you're going to be a good mom. And if you can't do it alone, I can take a year off."

"I'll feel guilty for the rest of my life if you do that," I said quietly.

"We'll make that decision later," he said, "What else did the doctor say?" 

"She just confirmed I was pregnant and how far along I am," I replied, "I scheduled an appointment for an ultrasound tomorrow."

"What time?" he asked.

"Two," I replied.

"I'll be there," he said, kissing me on the cheek.

"But-" I began to retort.

"I'm going to be there," he replied, "It's 4:30, do you want to go get dinner? I know I don't want to cook and I'm sure you don't."

"I don't know," I sighed, wiping away the tears from my face.

"Come on, we'll go get the girls from your mom so they don't have to go to work with her and we'll go get dinner downtown," he said, "Sound good?" 

"Yeah," I replied as he helped me up off of the floor, "I just want to clean myself up first though."

"I'll be in the living room," he said, kissing my cheek before leaving me alone again in the bathroom.